summer came quick
needing ventilation
I open the backroom window
"voila"
there's a whole other world back there
I know!, it's always there
but winter shutdown flips it off
into oblivion,
until that first insufferable day
when the window reopens
a whiff of lilacs
and...and... yes!... manure
( a horse boarded in the vacant lot
and an old lady 'cross the way)
the lilac is pungent
the manure,
Eh!, there's only one horse.
a backyard play-jungle

why are so many people so angry?
flying off the handle
at the slightest misperception,
Boom!
tirades of thundering mouth
awkward posturing
...but, the real fight comes later
a few drinks
(to calm down)
then, from simmering
to full boil again
Blam! it's on....
we've all got anger issues
I mean, just being angry
is an issue all its own
but, c'mon!
when are they going to figure this out?
...the day after dying!?

.
I, for one, like rainy days
a ready excuse for putting things off
out in the rain
roaming around
a kind of moodines sets in
the "grey nothings", I call it
not the blues
the blues, deep down,
I want to escape
the "grey nothings" I want to hang with
hoping the rain lasts
the mood?...can't explain!
a feeling of...emptied out
with no desire to fill up
empty is so good enough on these days
but, it goes away with the sun
desires change
wants must be filled

.
yes!...I know!
the door doesn't close right
been like that for months
...alright, years longer'n that
I say, so what
once I'm in I forget about it
start doing my whatevers
'til the next time I go out
same with the broken light in the hall
it's dark
but it's straight, and flat
not an obstacle course
so, here's my question
when sitting here, focused on my whatevers
and these things are finally fixed
will I feel any better?
and if I do, will it be

I'm no back porch philosophyer
don't have one
apartment dweller that I am
but, I was thinking on stuff
last night
end of the month blues
no cash
bar tab shut down
so, I stayed in
thinking
it wasn't all that bad
some music
(mainly Mancini)
snackin' homemade hors d'ervs
(ritz and liverwurst
a touch of mustard)
sober
('cept for the roach hits
found chefing the d'ervs)
yeah!,
not such a bad night after all
music, food, thinking

.
yeah!, I went to school
what the hell you mean
asking me that?
I went
just like everyone else
well, not all the time
but sometimes enough
to say "yeah! I went to school"
why?
you think I can't read?
or something?
I don't read
but I can
they made us do that
don't you remember
or maybe,
you didn't go to school
either

No, I don't watch TV much
too many pretty people
even the ugly ones
are better looking than
the lumps and frumps around here
doesn't seem right
pretending about stuff like that
gives people wrong ideas
like, if you are pretty
you can act
if you ain't
you can't do squat
even if it's true
it's not cool
to guys
who look like us!

bearing now this
loneliness 10,000 days
an old man in love

"sweet dreams" she purrs
I roll over and tremble
thoughts of losing her

even in unveiled sadness
her beauty incites tears
I cry twice