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I will re-learn
How to smile again.
All this cold rain,
will become beautiful again.
All this,
will drench me in righteousness.
My enemies,
will dance with me.
We will all-
re-find versions of ourselves,
that are, our alternate,yet, purer selves.
I'm doing it
for all of us.
When I bleed,
My blood is red.
Your blood is red.
My grief carries the same colour. AS YOURS.
The same aura.
My anger is also red. AS YOURS.
When I find a common colour for my vindication,
You will find, it also tastes, the same. AS YOURS.
Funny,how pain, always,feels,like pain.
Our victory,
will radiate,
in the same colours.
my,friend.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-11-15 07:22
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Title: I will re-learn
Poem text:
How to smile again.
All this cold rain,
will become beautiful again.
All this,
will drench me in righteousness.
Review:
The brevity of your poem creates a sense of simplicity and directness. The title sets the tone for the poem, suggesting a desire to rediscover happiness. The repetition of the phrase "All this" in the last two lines adds emphasis and creates a sense of unity.
However, the poem could benefit from further development and expansion. The imagery of cold rain becoming beautiful again is intriguing, but it would be helpful to provide more specific details or descriptions to enhance the reader's understanding and engagement. Consider incorporating sensory language or vivid imagery to bring the scene to life.
Additionally, the phrase "will drench me in righteousness" is thought-provoking, but it may require further clarification or elaboration. What does righteousness mean in this context? How does it relate to the theme of relearning how
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Wed, 2023-11-15 12:56
I was about to ask...
the same question about the meaning of [righteousness] in this respect. I think that you mean a different word like [vindication]
such as, this was not your fault. Maybe not, I don't know what you are feeling, but I think that from the way you have written about things in your life, you have felt like you were always blamed, and now, feel vindicated. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
kowque
Wed, 2023-11-15 18:59
Last line
I had a whole message written out and it got lost somehow. I value the feedback. I'll have to reconsider the use of the word. Thank you
Koki
kowque
Wed, 2023-11-15 18:59
Last line
Koki
kowque
Fri, 2023-11-17 22:42
I tried again
What do you think?
Koki
kowque
Wed, 2023-11-15 19:03
Thank you
I'm considering editing this entire poem. I think it was mostly written in anger and doesn't totally read correctly. However, thank you for the feedback!
Koki
Leslie
Thu, 2023-11-16 05:03
Koki
Perhaps your writing has a meaning that is vailed.
Something that you need to search for it's
meaning. I have no idea, but to me it was great.
I would write something else, but meditate on
what's been written, but that's just me?
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!
kowque
Fri, 2023-11-17 22:41
I think since
English is my third language,lol,
I'm going to have to find the right word.
I'll keep searching
Koki
kowque
Sat, 2023-11-18 01:37
Thank you Mark
I am growing, on this site.
Koki
kowque
Sat, 2023-11-18 01:36
Thank you
for the feedback
Koki