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Zombified...

There’s a gaping hole in my chest
where you tore my heart from me
You took the parts that were the best
left my mind in misery

I’ve been zombified

As I walk amongst the living
no soul left to me
It’s no breath of life you’re giving
I’m not ever free

I’ve been zombified

And the music that you play
keeps me chained to you
While you pipe away the day
there’s nothing I can do

I’ve been zombified

The rhythm and the pace
make me walk the way I do
See the smile upon my face
watch it shine for only you

I’ve been zombified

So, play your facinating score
my mind forever occupied
There’s nothing I want more
ever since my true love died

Keep me zombified

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Good title. It fits the piece. I liked the rhythm, it flows well. Dark content, which I love ;) Best lines, IMHO:

So, play your facinating score
my mind forever occupied
There’s nothing I want more
ever since my true love died

Keep me zombified

always, Cat (& eddy)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

came about from listening to one of my fares tell another how hard it has been for her to go on after her husband died recently. She was telling about how they used to watch all the zombie movies and programs on t.v. They would get all their snacks and things together and spend the night watching zombies. Now she watches them alone. She says that it is a way to feel close to her husband. He would hold her close to him while the eerie music played and she felt so safe and secure.

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author comment

What a lovely story of inspiration! Thank you for sharing it with me.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Great write, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.

I appreciate that you took the time to tell me. ~ Geezer

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author comment

great rhythm,
and the meter transitions worked well in the context of zombi-ism

but the shortness of the lines made me read it fast, when zombies are slow... i think i would have used longer lines

i like the repeating line
and that did tend to slow the write - so it made up for it lol

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I might look at lengthing the lines to make it slower and a more zombie-like pace. I think I will let it simmer for awhile. Love ya, ~ Gee

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author comment

Wow this one feels so different from your normal write, its very boody good

Bravo

love and higgliest bugs JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

to write from the heart; the inside of my thoughts when I write about true life experiences. Occasionally I have the good fortune to write something like this. Thanks for liking this one. ~ love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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