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Enfold me in your loving arms
and mould yourself against my chest.
I've long been captive to your charms
which far exceed all of the rest.

Let me smell your silken hair
like perfume of late autumn wine
which breeze sends flying everywhere
a halo burnished by sunshine.

Then thrill me with familiar form.
I've memorized each swell and curve
which in cold nights help keep me warm
a warmth I know I don't deserve.

And as we walk down our life's trail
let's do so strolling hand in hand
and know my love will never fail.
My heart is always in your hand.

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


at an age passed so much experience
which others must freshly share
newer methods of making love emerge
as you know perhaps
in modern ways
your dawns are sold


So many write of young hot love but there's a lot to be said for love which has had time to mature. Appreciate the visit and have a good Thanksgiving...........stan

author comment

and same to ya'll
ur way of saying

when love matures
its like pickle...
it tastes better
than when raw...


and mould yourself against (your) chest- 'my' seems to make more sense

which far exceed, all of the rest- would help reader keep rhythm

Let sunshine-this is a beautiful verse, pitch perfect and the last line is a lovely image.

knowing my love will never fail-this line doesn't flow well
I want to say
'knowing love will never fail' but that's too short a line ???

hope this helps

The your-my thing is another of my seemingly endless typos as "my" is present in original handwritten version. Appreciate the eagle eye.
I'll think about adding that comma also.
"knowing my love will never fail........intention is to convey that the certainty is that MY love will never fail (can never be sure of another"s)....but I'll let this stew a bit and consider a change when I edit, and I almost Always edit after some time.
All ideas help and I appreciate your taking the time to give this some thought.
Happy thanksgiving.......................stan

author comment

i did realize the 'my' was important re meaning, sometimes sonics must be sacrificed to meaning, sometimes vice versa. In your line its the long 'owing' sound of 'Knowing' suddenly being stopped by the short, definite sound of 'my' that is followed by another long 'o' sound in 'love' that breaks up the melody. At least to my ears

I see what you mean now. Appreciate the return visit and I'll change this as soon as the edit enters empty head lol...............stan

author comment

lovely poem

Thank you and thanks for taking the time to read and comment............stan

author comment

Sacrificing sonics for meaning and vice versa. That's truly good stuff.
As for the comma... ADD IT! For cryin' out loud, it won't kill you to use a little punctuation. Okay, maybe it will, but it will be SO worth it.

I love the poem Stan and not only because I'm old and married to same woman for almost three decades (though that has a bit to do with it). It is a very good subject and one not nearly well enough explored.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Yes Ross almost always has good suggestions. I see the need for a pause where you and he want that comma but I'd prefer to furnish the pause by word usage which will take a bit more thought. Besides a comma here and apostrophe there and next thing you know I'll have to punctuate the whole poem lol. I'm pleased that even a newlywed such as yourself ( my 39th anniversary is next Aug.) was able to derive something from this poem. Thanks for the visit....................stan

author comment

This is simply beautiful.

Thank you, I'm pleased you took the time to read this scribble and doubly pleased you liked it.............stan

author comment

and have done it with a deep sense of straightforward truth and honesty. I love and understand this poem from my own experience. There is only one question I had. I wasn't sure how the title, By Your Leave, connected to the rest of your poem


thank you. The title....well none of the things described would be done without here permission or leave

author comment

Thank you.


reminisces of the past flash back at last some take long to realize where we lay
and where all love lies. Today I was just thinking of composing ''A SLICE OF CAKE ''.
Three ladies gave PRIORITY to their LADIES KITTY Hubby said how about a cup of tea ahhhh All at different times and years said
Today my birthday is two days away I asked my spouse similarly
she ignored and unusually scolded me... Will I also leave on my Birthday as all those three did
Let the cup of tea wait... In any case I like coffee.AND
She knows it.
Stan thanks for the background... If I have the time shall modify this and of course remove it Till then abide with me---- another days ONLY three Thanks Stan''

Till then read it confidentially
She still loves me
at times Hates
coz woman

When I go back and edit stuff it never ceases to amaze me how often the edited poem draws comment......sometime even more than recent scribbles lol. So you will be turning 39 in a few days? No problem, I've tried to stay on hold at 39 for years lol

author comment

79 where did you get to be
39 I wonder still stan

old Jack Benny show where the star never admitted to being over 39 lol

author comment
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