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Your eyes of blue

Your eyes
wetted like the
morning dew.
Bathes in the
bashful beams
of blue.
Everything seems
to disappear
from my view.
Leaving only
me and my
love for you .

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

did you mean dew? Your poem has promise. I enjoyed L4,5 and 6 especially

Thomas

....so like my lost dreams...the flood

Yes I have corrected it and thank you for your comment

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Shows so much love

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Thank you I try to put emotion behind well my inspiration is music it usual helps me come up with an Image for me to get an idea or a rhythm for me to follow .

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Hi
I wondered why you had chosen the line breaks in your piece for the visual appearance?
For the reader breaking the lines in this way is a disruption to thought, I think it would read better as longer lines your enjambment is leaving the at the end if lines which is always a waste of that prime position.
Try it with longer lines and read it aloud and see what you think. You may disagree.
Sam.

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