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Write Your Story
Everybody has a story
The way their life plays out
When the last page is turned
Will you give a whisper or shout?
Some people believe in fate
Well, I will be the first to say
I believe you write your story
In the decisions you make each day
Don't let somebody else decide
How your story is going to end
There's empty pages up ahead
Don't be afraid to pick up your pen
It doesn't matter what you look like
Whether your hair is straight or curly
You hold the power in your life
It's time for you to Write Your Story
Style / type:
Structured: Western
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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Sun, 2023-01-15 18:02
Write Your Story
Hello, Shelby!
I really like the message in this piece. We are all capable of writing our own stories, and owning our own outcomes.
I believe the rhythm could be a bit tighter if a few words were removed. If I may suggest:
Will you go out in a whisper or a shout / Will you give a whisper or a shout
Drop "So" / Don't be afraid to pick up the (your) pen
It's time for you to write your story / It's time to write your story
Also, in the second stanza, third line, you may want to change the tense of believed to "believe."
Another encouraging, positive poem which I always look forward to reading.
Thank you!
L
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-01-15 22:31
Lavender
Thank you so much! I applied the changes you suggested, I hope it flows better now. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
author commentLavender
Sun, 2023-01-15 22:50
Hello, Shelby!
I enjoy it a lot!
L
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-01-16 00:49
Ekaterina Alexa
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words!
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2023-01-16 05:58
I believe in both
There are things you can control and others you cannot. The real trick is knowing the difference. Mostly what you can control is your emotional output and your actions and reactions. That’s where you have tremendous control and when you aren’t reactive to stimuli, despite not having control over them, you do have control over how you process that, and in that way they cannot control you.
I think you’re on to something here. Great writing of course but on a personal level.
Tim
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-01-16 17:11
Rosewood Apothecary
Thank you for the comment! I agree, some things in life we can't control. But we can control how we react.
Life is 10% acting, and 90% reacting.
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