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Wine Dark Sea (Cellar Door poem)

To get the wine
That swells with time
We must ignore
The cellar door

To taste the ships
Upon our lips
The cellar door
Must be ajar

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
A reading of my poem is at: https://soundcloud.com/gregwa8/wine-dark-sea
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

did it by habit and checked the N/A box without thinking! Oh well, this is a critique of this poem. The title is catchy and drew me in right away. Language okay, the rhythm of it seemed like waves and the theme of wine being a dark sea, pretty good. I like that you ended it with a play of word. ~ Geezer.
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thanks geezer. a little sing song poem, with the sing song word of the day :)

author comment

lovely rhymes and rhythm.
Did you mean "chips" or "ships"?

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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and evocative.
A different tone to most of the posts scrawled in blood on cellar doors.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

thanks jess!

author comment
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