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Who am I?
I am the sun,
the stars,
the sky.
I am each wisp of cloud
over silver moon,
I am mountain high
and forest floor,
ocean deep
and soft sea shore.
I'm each drop of rain
that ever fell
and every sunbeam
that danced,
as well.
I am as old as time
and yet brand new
the centuries stood still
as I passed through.
I am part of nature’s
elemental fury,
part of the heavens
and god’s great glory.
I am a spirit
free to roam.
The universe
is my hearth and home.
All this I know so well,
but I'm still bound
by my earthly shell.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2016-06-08 10:33
A mixture...
of delusions of grandeur and underachievement ! Lol, just kidding! I really like this one! This hits home with a lot of us, I'm sure! Nothing to critique. Maybe later, after I've read it again. ~ Gee.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
jane210660
Wed, 2016-06-08 10:47
Lol, I'm definitely
Lol, I'm definitely delusional and driven by the demons of underachievement.
Glad you like it and thanks for reading. Jx
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author commentalidzain
Wed, 2016-06-08 12:40
wow jane!!!
love this very much. You hooked me with that title and made me curious and you own it. Good job!
Alid
jane210660
Wed, 2016-06-08 13:10
Alid
Many thanks for reading the poem and such encouragement.
I think I might celebrate with a little glass of wine (it's after 6pm here) :- Jxx
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentalidzain
Wed, 2016-06-08 14:22
jane
it's 2:21am here. Can't get to sleep so I read your masterpiece.
Alid
lovedly
Wed, 2016-06-08 14:00
cheers a glass of wine for me
is this the one you wanted
that i should read
such beauty in spirit
mnie was magnetic
SPIRIT IS SPIRITUAL
MAGNETIC IS ACTUAL
jane210660
Wed, 2016-06-08 14:57
Cheers Jx
Cheers Jx
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentlovedly
Tue, 2016-07-05 20:22
You are neopoets new found diamondic star
Diamondic you
Superb
are you....
may you also shine
as I am a diamond
from a poetry mine....
you are far ahead
my lady poet
far ahead,
than I can ever be
you are the diamond
in the sky
I'd like to be
One too on Neopoetree
Will I ever so be
jane210660
Wed, 2016-07-06 04:05
Hi Lovedly
Wow, that is praise indeed. I am most flattered, but really I'm not so shiny, there are so many fine poets here on Neopoet. Thank you though, you made my day. Jxx
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Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentlovedly
Wed, 2016-07-06 04:09
Yes you are the blessed and ignited candle of neo
My eyes, your views
The ignited candle
burns straight
till butterflies try
to it, penetrate
let the brightness of light
flame within the candle
and the world be
the harbinger of
calmness and solitude...
the flickering fire glows
as ever, within
the wavering candle,
seemingly everlasting
is now no more!
jane210660
Wed, 2016-07-06 07:09
Lovedly, this is a beautiful
Lovedly, this is a beautiful poem. How transient everything is. Jxx
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentraj
Wed, 2016-06-08 14:30
Hi Jane
The title "Who am I" is I guess most of us ponder about at some or many times in their lives, in the form of soul searching, self appraisal, feeling good about the good things one has done, self admonition for the wrongs and/or what could have been...in that context your poem is thought provoking...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
jane210660
Wed, 2016-06-08 14:58
Hi Raj
Thanks for dropping by, nice to hear from you. Jx
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentSparrow
Thu, 2016-06-16 18:34
Jane
A sense of being at one with all and that you are a spiritual part of all those things.
We are as the earth and sky to be among the stars an aim of eternity.
Soft spoken words flow yet heard by all, then some will heed the words and some will fall.
They only fall by not seeing that the things they do are to enhance their spirit and to be a help to like souls.
Loved this write, it reminded me of the children and the talks we had and the think that we still have.
Go well young lady and learn to live and live to learn.
Yours as always Ian .x
Maybe I will write some of these words as a poem to our journey.
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
jane210660
Mon, 2016-06-20 10:57
Thanks Ian
Hi Ian, lovely to hear from you and am so pleased you enjoyed this, I loved writing it. Jxx
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentmand
Fri, 2016-06-17 12:21
Hi Jane
Loved the flow and the way it leads to a crescendo - there's a lot of passion, understanding and love of life in this poem, it was easy and encouraging to get absorbed in it's positivity.
Very nice write - well done
Love Mand xxx
jane210660
Mon, 2016-06-20 10:55
Thanks Mand
Hi Mand and thanks for reading and giving me your thoughts. I really enjoyed writing this and tinkering around with it tweaking here and there. Jxx
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Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
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