Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Matter of Perspective

That moment past the
final flutter,
breathless rattle,
pulse extinct.
That
moment
where we
cease
to be.
Death, slips us into a perfect tense
leaving the dead
without past, present or future.
It hangs timeless
for all eternity.

Hello………...
can you hear me from over there?
You come to me in dreams
and we meet
in a shadowy, transient world.
Sometimes,
you drop by as I am sipping coffee,
reflecting.
You don’t stay for long
no need for another cup.
I am not frightened of death
because I know it is
just a passage
to a new life.

SoundCloud recording
https://soundcloud.com/user-391664655/death-a-matter-of-perspective

Editing stage: 

Comments

go and listen to the recording on SoundCloud. I enjoyed the reading of it so much, that I had to see if it would stand up to the oral audio. It did! Very nice presentation. I like the death, the one that releases you to another world. Not the monster that Death is portrayed, by those who fear it.
There is one line that I just can't stop thinking about.
It is the one that goes : "which has no form". I just don't think that it is a necessary line.
Try it without that line, it still makes perfect sense. ~ Gee.
/.

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

Yes I see what you mean, except I shall have to take two lines out - because
'which has no form
in the morning light'
They go together.
I'll have a little play later.
Always good to get your feedback, it's much appreciated.
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

Thought about it and yes I agree with you - those lines were unnecessary.
That's the beauty of this site.
Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

with just the one line gone, but it's your poem. And yes, this is the beauty of this site. We have a lot of different perspectives and we are free to examine them and use what we need and want out of the advice that we get. What could be better than that? ~ Gee.
.

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

I am not frightened of death either, it's the dying part I'd rather skip.
Please make it quick.
Neither am I afraid of "being" dead
I won't even know I'm dead, 'cause I'll be dead!

...just my perspective. Your view sounds more exciting and adventurous,
but beliefs aren't chosen. I can't, for instance, choose to believe that the earth is flat, while still maintaining my rational integrity. The same holds true for an afterlife.

But this should be about your poetry, not my metaphysical ideas.
you write well, and have elucidated your perspective "divinely"

Al

Always a pleasure to hear from you.
Was just playing around with ideas in my head - in fact I sat down to write a poem about childhood holidays.........
the inside of my head must be very weird as this popped out instead.
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

Life is often defined by electrical activity within the body. (no, not vibrators lol). And death is ascertained by the cessation of this activity. The law of conservation of energy says energy can be neither created nor destroys but only changed. So what happens to a body's energy on death? I think it along with whatever the heck a soul is goes on , just not to place visible to us. Now to poem. line 6, that single word "moment"....I suggest leaving blank line both above it and below it to add impact.......stan

Yes I see that would add impact, but I think it's also possible it would detach itself too completely from the poem.
I think having just the word on one line is probably enough.
Lovely to hear from you - as ever.
Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

what is death
but electromagnetism
fading away

our lives are controlled by electromagnetic waves in sync with ethereal magnetic waves and we are operable by mechanical and chemical reactions.. our bodies being 80 percent fluid not necessarily water and when our positive energy totally merges with negative we simply pass away we came from the womb only by synchronicity of a moms' heart beat as we have nothing in commonality we are all an entity all by yourself..we are like dead rats if you have seen one upon soul i make no contest I suggest it's your own feeling O teacher poet.
I shall remove this communication once you have hammered me ...as in my blog i have stated no poetry will i post for 30 days.. help me keep my word o teacher poet...

You won't be breaking your word as this particular response isn't poetry.
It is a pleasure to read though, so keep it if you can.
Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

thank you for your magnanimity
my teacher Lady

i will retain it
thanks glad you liked it
and stan will also

GENEROSITY

Tap, tap, tap
someone is at my back
i turn to see… nothing

Tap, tap, tap
an icy kiss
on my neck,

fire cold steals my breath
away.
my heart sickens to its depth.
“Not so soon Death;
I have another day”

yesterday was your last;
there are none left.

à La Fontaine [ la mort et le bucher\on

lovely seeds of poetry
STILL
you sow
hope you are now better also

Like Aesop's old man, we cling on, even when we see no hope.
All I can do, is send you my love.
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.