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What Is It?

Submitted by Carrie on Mon, 2024-05-27 01:05

What is it?
When your heart skips a beat,
What is it?
Is it someone that you meet?
What is it?
With a flutter in your heart,
What is it?
That you never want to part?
What is it?
From the time you say "Hello."
What is it?
You know! That you'll never let go!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Thank you for reading. :)
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Contest: 
05/24 Romance
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Mon, 2024-05-27 07:10

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "What Is It?" effectively utilizes repetition as a structural device, creating a rhythm and reinforcing the central question. However, the repetition could also be seen as excessive, potentially limiting the poem's depth and complexity.

The poem's theme, seemingly exploring the experience of love or infatuation, is a universal one that many readers can relate to. Yet, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery or sensory details to make this theme more vivid and engaging.

The rhyme scheme is consistent, contributing to the poem's musicality. However, the poem's language is relatively simple and straightforward. Using more varied and sophisticated language could enhance the poem's aesthetic appeal and emotional impact.

The ending line "You know! That you'll never let go!" provides a strong conclusion, offering a resolution to the repeated question. However, the use of exclamation marks could be seen as overly dramatic or unnecessary.

In terms of improving this poem, consider reducing the repetition, incorporating more specific and sensory imagery, and using more varied and sophisticated language. Also, reconsider the use of exclamation marks to ensure they contribute effectively to the poem's tone and mood.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Mon, 2024-05-27 14:06

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You have very strong feelings about the situation. You chose deliberate language that made your emotions clear. It could be a little smoother, but... it is not free verse. ~ Geezer.
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Carrie

Mon, 2024-06-17 01:18

Carrie's picture

Thank you for your feedback. :)

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