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Colours
Green is the colour
Of the deep dark sea
Blue is the feeling
Deep within me
Red is the colour
Of the red sky at night
Yellow is the colour
Of the sun so bright
Black is the colour
Of a cave, deep and dark
Brown is the colour
Of an old trees bark
Grey is the colour
Of the socks I have on
One day these colours
In my heart will belong
Ha! Ha! Ha!
They're laughing at me
So I'll keep on thinking
Of trying to be free
Two, three, four
They're locking my door
Six, seven, eight
It's not even late
I wish I was a sparrow
Into the sun I'd fly
I wish I was a kookaburra,
whose laugh is strong but shy
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Thank you for reading. :)
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2024-04-22 07:23
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Lavender
Mon, 2024-04-22 14:23
Colours
Hello, Carrie,
So much here...the simplicity of this adds to its deep meaning. I especially like the references to laughing, and the kookaburra. Such a lonely feeling over all. I'll be back to read again!
Thank you!
L
Carrie
Mon, 2024-05-06 01:05
Hi Lavender
Glad you're enjoying. Thank you. :)