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We are all Hungry

Life moves along
With a zero between glow
Like layers of a dream
Sandwiched between
Your fresh baked dread
A slice of make believe
And a tattered memory
The recipe passed down
Generational
One cup of imagined outcomes
A dash of hope
Variety is the spice of strife
What’s your flavor?
In deep hunger
We get lost
As it gnaws on the mind
So the thoughts slip out
You talk
To yourself
No soul goes
without craving
A bite of genuine gold
I prefer turquoise
The nameless bond
Which connects all creatures
Unsettled in the
Present passing
Moment sinking

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hi Mark,
thank you so much for reading my poem and taking the time to comment. I understand exactly what you mean and will consider taking that line out.
With appreciation,
Michelle

author comment

I enjoyed the little almost cliches; I love a play on words!
I wonder at the line Makeout mouth, I'm not quite sure what you meant
although there is a tease at the back of my mind, that says it means
something like; a platitude? All in all, a thought-provoking piece.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

The "makeout mouth" is a total typo. I am laughing at myself and am thinking about making that into its own poem. Good looking out. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate you.
Michelle

author comment

I happen to like the line in question. please don't remove it???
excellent poem great play on words!

*hugs, Cat

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