Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Vow To January
I will not ask what cannot be given,
for what can't be helped must be forgiven.
I won't expect measureless days of sun,
nor hope for brave blossoms where there are none.
The wind may chap the addled garden gate,
and its eager verdure must simply wait.
I'll accept the silence of transfixed trees
as their branches endure the winter freeze.
I'll carry no grudge, nor shall I complain,
but try to befriend this winter domain.
Its crystal sky, its steely blue morning
will soothe my longing for spring's aborning.
As January wanders by my side,
its rousing air, snowy and purified,
I'll honor its nature, holdfast its will
to blanket this world, now quiet and still.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Ruby Lord
Sun, 2023-12-31 08:46
Hi Lavender, there are lots
Hi Lavender, there are lots of lovely lines in this for example:
I'll accept the silence of transfixed trees
as their branches endure the winter freeze.
I thought the above two lines describe your scene perfectly.
And these two:
I'll honor its nature, holdfast its will
to blanket this world, now quiet and still.
Made me feel so peaceful as if you had wrapped me in your warm, soft words.
Adorable poem, I wish I'd written it. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Lavender
Sun, 2023-12-31 08:55
Hello, Ruby!
So glad you chose those specific lines - January has often been a hard month for me. I fight it instead of accepting it and honoring its quiet offerings. I'm going to try to befriend its natural gifts. As always, I appreciate it when you read and comment. Best wishes for the New Year to you!
Lxx
author commentTriskelion
Sun, 2023-12-31 13:55
Hi Lavender
..I'm not sure how formal you want the metre to be, but I do notice variations line by line. There is, however a readability around these variations that is entirely fine.
The sentiment in your poem is lovely and I hope you will refine it at least a little more. Of course, I could go on, but there is that charm factor I dare not risk.
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Lavender
Sun, 2023-12-31 14:56
Hello, Thomas,
I appreciate your comments! While it's not always the best meter flow, I tried to keep a 10 syllable count, and I do see one line with only 9 syllables, which I will edit. I would love this to flow as gracefully as possible, and will work on it. If you have any more suggestions, that would be wonderful!
Thank you for reading!
L
author commentTriskelion
Sun, 2023-12-31 15:04
I was considering...
..the syllable count when I referred to its natural charm metre-wise, of course. If, in a formal way, the metre should be consistent line to line, then there are variations line to line. Let me copy/paste a stanza and make outlines for you to study.
I'll HOLD no GRUDGE, nor SHALL I compLAIN,
but TRY to beFRIEND this WINter doMAIN.
Its CRYstal SKY, its STEELy blue MORNing
will SOOTH my LONGing for SPRING'S aBORNing.
In L1, you could change HOLD to CARRy to match the metre in the next line...(anapestically speaking, it's close!)
Anyway, I found the piece charming and by that virtue, found it also pleasant reading it with varying metre.
Don't change it on my account!
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Lavender
Sun, 2023-12-31 15:36
Thank you, Thomas,
I like the word "carry" and will gratefully use your suggestion. As far as the meter, I've always struggled a bit and would really like to become better. I'll give this some thought.
Again, thanks for your time and your help with this one.
Happy New Year!
L
author commentClentin
Mon, 2024-01-01 09:26
Great poem. Loved it,
Great poem. Loved it, especially the last stanza
Lavender
Mon, 2024-01-01 20:53
Hello, Clentin,
Writing this helped me search for (and find) the beauty in January.
Thank you so much for reading!
L
author comment