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Untitled
The world has grey veins.
chest pounds like a busy hammer.
rolling like a rickety vehicle
towards the grave to be no more.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
How well does the imageries communicate the idea?
kindly give your suggestions.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Dee's pen
Fri, 2019-09-20 04:22
Thanks Sir.
Sir Mark,
Thanks very much for your observations. I will always appreciate your guide every time.
Dee
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