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Unfinished Poems

Submitted by Mary Beth Magee on Fri, 2024-04-19 15:17

Does there exist a special place
Somewhere safe in time and space
For poems started, bright with thought,
But never finished? Well, there ought
To be an orphanage for verses
Whose forward motion struck reverses
And never quite became complet…

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Last few words:

One of those wild hair thoughts...any feedback, suggestions appreciated.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly Contest 04/14/24 to 04/20/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2024-04-19 21:20

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Unfinished Poems" demonstrates a thoughtful exploration of the concept of incomplete creative works, using the metaphor of an orphanage. The poem's rhythm and rhyme scheme are consistent, contributing to a smooth flow and easy reading.

However, the poem ends abruptly, which might be an intentional reflection of the theme of 'unfinishedness'. If not, the poem could benefit from a more resolved ending to provide a satisfying conclusion to the reader.

The use of the term 'struck reverses' is a bit unclear. If it is intended to convey the idea of a poem's progress being halted or reversed, it might be beneficial to use a more straightforward expression to ensure the reader's understanding.

The poem could also benefit from more vivid imagery. While the metaphor of an orphanage is effective, additional descriptive language could help to further engage the reader's senses and emotions.

Overall, the poem is a thoughtful exploration of a unique concept, and with some refinement, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

zuella

Sat, 2024-04-20 04:49

WOWIEEEE i absolutely loved

WOWIEEEE i absolutely loved this! i loved the language, i loved the length, i love the rhyming pattern (not sure what thats called) but it was such a smart play because thats the same type of rhyme style that people mostly associate poetry with so its like you wrote a poem about poetry that would never of been able to be imagined while also feeling so in place and normal. i loved this so much omg. i loved its sort of simplicity and the title is so standard that it stands out, this is such a smart poem and i dont know why there arent more people here going mad over it. this is amazing!

-zuella

The normal fear the poets and the poets fear the normal.
Thank you for your time!
-Zuella

Mary Beth Magee

Sat, 2024-04-20 12:51

Thank you, Zuella

I have so many poor little orphaned poems around, LOL. I appreciate your kind words. I had fun with it.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

Candlewitch

Sat, 2024-04-20 07:02

hello Mary Beth,

I see AI missed the point... again! I very much liked the ending. It is good to see you getting your feet wet in the warm waters of Neopoet;s fountain ;)

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Mary Beth Magee

Sat, 2024-04-20 12:52

Thank you, Candlewitch

I’m having a great time splashing! Thanks for your kind words.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

Lavender

Mon, 2024-04-22 15:32