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A Trip to Town
I went into town today
nothing remarkable about that.
Except I passed a man
on the street,
just sitting there.
A loser
abuser
a real down and out.
His filthy mattress
spoke a thousand words,
but offered little comfort.
His eyes, downcast
refused to meet mine
as I put
in his pot
a few meagre coins.
A sideways glance
no thanks
just an unspoken tension,
not enough.
Back in my car
I drive
to the nearest store,
I buy
sandwiches, crisps a drink,
a real meal deal.
a veritable feast.
He is still
on the street
just sitting there
hooded eyes,
vacant stare.
I hand him the bag
and smile.
He looks inside
and says
“I don’t like them
cant I ‘ave money instead?”
I sigh,
I did try
God, I really did.
Last few words:
This is really hot off the press - I've only been back a few hours and wrote it on my return - and yes, it did happen, just like it says in the poem.
Regards speech - dialect round here is very flat, quite harsh and a 't' often appears where other letters should be, or is used for joining words.
This is a new style for me, just experimenting with different techniques. Jx
Editing stage:
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Comments
Keith Logan
Wed, 2016-05-11 19:37
Depends on
what you expect.
On one occasion I handed a beggar a sufficient sum and suggested he have a few pints on me. (He was quite obviously an alcoholic.)
On another occasion a young man was sitting on the ground in drizzling rain with his girlfriend over to one side harbouring temporarily in a doorway. (They were obviously taking turns at the begging.) This time I went to a cash machine got out a fairly large sum of money, handed it to the young man telling him to treat himself and his girl to a hot meal and a few nights in a warm boarding house.
It's the sort of thing that you always wish you could do more.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
Rula
Wed, 2016-05-11 23:50
Love the
details in this piece Jane. And as for the man, I can't believe he's a homeless guy or he would accept anything offered as a help. A sigh. I guess sometimes one doubts if we need to give a hand to these people.
Your poem says it all and says it well!!
Nothing to offer but appreciation.
Good job!!
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Keith Logan
Thu, 2016-05-12 00:19
Understood
I come from a background of genuine want and so think I can recognise the wearied eyes and involuntary shivers of same. As you point out, his words belie his claim to real need but of course he might have been an alcoholic in need of a drink - nah, that would surely be obvious. There are people capable of making a good living out of the begging.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
Rula
Thu, 2016-05-12 00:28
Yes
That's exactly what I wanted to say Mr. Logan
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jane210660
Thu, 2016-05-12 06:58
I suspect he was a local, as
I suspect he was a local, as with the true Yorkshire ability to get to the point and do it very directly, a woman walking past said:
" 'e dont want that luv, 'e wants tha muni"
My stance is whatever or wherever he comes from, he is in a worse place than me, so if I can help, then sometimes I do.
This little scenario made me sad and chuckle at the same time. Sad because what is a life sitting on a filthy mattress, craving the next fix be it drugs or alcohol. I chuckled at the irony of the situation. Here was a guy, obviously in need (of something) refusing lunch - Sainsbury's finest no less. Not wasted, my husband's having it today :-) Jxx
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author commentGeezer
Fri, 2016-05-13 16:02
I admire...
your restraint! I might have been less gracious and said something nasty. Nice, brief sentences that
describe the scene without clogging it up. Good narrative. ~ Gee.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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jane210660
Sat, 2016-05-14 02:12
Thanks
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author commentjane210660
Sat, 2016-05-14 02:12
Thanks
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentjane210660
Sat, 2016-05-14 02:13
Thanks
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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
author commentjane210660
Sat, 2016-05-14 02:17
Thanks
A slightly different style for me. Not consciously, it just seemed to write itself that way. :-) Jx
By the way I have no idea where all the empty comment boxes above came from I'm using my phone (currently in hospital) and it won't let me remove them.
Jx
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author commentSparrow
Tue, 2016-06-07 19:22
Jane
Lessons in others are blurred, and draw you into a world where there is a true poverty, as in the realms of the rich there are pretenders, and then the real thing, I am sorry that you came across the untrue poor, just remember that in the act of giving no matter how it was received was all that you needed to do and it was noted on your CV in a place we all will go one day.
Good write as usual take care on your journey,
Yours, Ian . xx
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
jane210660
Wed, 2016-06-08 08:01
Thank you Ian for reading and
Thank you Ian for reading and commenting.
Whatever the guy's situation, he was in a worse place than me, even if he was a bit of a fraud. Jxx
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