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Strumpet High.

Strumpet High...

Strumpet street is on a high'
magic dust has just been found.
On banker’s lane they're slapping thigh,
four hundred dollars to a pound.

The barman are all feeling glum,
alcohol not now first choice.
I guess it’s alright for some,
cash sure calms the errant voice

Different street different needs,
both afflicted by disease.
Dealer preys, user concedes,
both have an urge to please.

They look like a living shell,
zombie like creatures so still.
A poisonous route to hell,
dealers, call them road kill.

How many sewers need draining,
before the politicians run dry.
Meant to lead but only feigning,
as the broken mother’s cry.

This reeks of something poor,
politicians politicing for wages.
For now, they are unsure,
as another epidemic rages

How long before it’s gone,
this street of simplest need.
Will there ever be another one,
In a world consumed by greed.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

your last line might fit the beat better if you perhaps add the word utter
consumed by utter greed
very powerful statement made in this work

I think I may edit the last line, but I have something different. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Changed my mind on your suggestion, thank you again, Regards Roscoe....

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

as I assume you mean from the bio. In USA 72,000 people died last year from Opioids alone!
I like your poem, has a modern beat and meaning.

My only suggestion is to drop the second stanza. Not to worry about the barmen, alcohol is still the global drug of choice. I think we all know at least one person which the drink as totally screwed up their lives, family or friends, far more than any powders on a global level. I know several. I would just focus on the drug at hand, the magic dust. I haven't seen too many bars closing down, or any decline in profits in the whiskey business.
.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I didn't base this poem on Scotland alone, this is a UK problem. And in Scotland bars ( pubs here in Scotland ) are closing down weekly. I know drink is a problem, but thankfully not as bad as it was in the past. But drugs are a scourge, and where drinking was accepted because it was mostly a very social pastime. The taking drugs is very solitary and destructive, and the dealers are targeting children. Persuading them both to be users and distributers. Thank you again, Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Although the subject is of little relevance to your important poem, I was curious and did a bit of research, so easy to do today. Seems the pub business really took a hit when smoking was banned.
Secondly, today's youth are more tea toddlers by small percent...no mention of the effects of the drug epidemic that I could find. Seems the youth like pot a lot. Soon smoking clubs will boom there like in other spots of Europe, like in Holland and Spain.
As to your poem, I myself can't find a solution to this epidemic. Denying people the drugs they want has never succeeded, and only increased criminal activity. I suppose the best hope is to legalize and control the substances to avoid further deaths by overdoses and just poisonous concoctions and begin the process of turning the next generation into a cleaner, more alert group like with cigarettes.
Until then, how can anyone even hear the number 72,000 people dead and not cringe? Less than 4,000 died in England last, still each one is a death. It was interesting to read also that the number of
marijuana-related deaths in England remained steady in 2017 as in the previous years..zero.
Maybe legalization is a worth considering there too. It could help pay for a lot of government services!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Unfortunately the new drug is called spice, very addictive, and leaves user like a zombie. Frozen in one position, standing or slumped bodily fluids ( dribbling from the mouth or worse ) running. No chance this will ever being legalised, horrible drug controlled by dirty scum who only care about money. Not a drug of choice. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

sounds like meth. Yea those drugs are awful, I can't image why people take it.

For the purpose of poetry, spice is a strong word that you might consider using in the poem. Has a lot of metaphorical value.

Spice was the name of the drug in DUNE, that very popular sci-fi book/movie. It was made by these block long worms that lived on a desert planet, and by taking it was the only way beings could "fold space" and travel across the galaxies. I suppose that is the derivative.

I think you should send your poem to the local papers. you never know.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I think you meant "they're" not their in line 3. You need to check for a few other typos too. Opiods and other drugs are a curse on humanity where ever they are used . Sometimes I think the best thing might be to legalize them . That would bring in some revenue to offset some of the costs of dealing with them and maybe after 4-5 generations those who abuse them would put themselves out of the gene pool. Other times I think stricter enforcement might work but it didn't work when we tried prohibition here......stan PS like the abab rhyme scheme

Thank you Stan, I would have a special prison for drug dealers. On an island doing hard labour fifteen years minimum, no work no hearing for remission. Hearings only heard after ten years, and any guards found smuggling for the prisoners joins them. I have seen close up what drugs does to a family. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

has a friend or family member who has been harmed by drugs. Yet Hollywood keeps on making movies and TV shows which glamorize dealers..........idiots

Though this poem... I guess speaking from the perspective of someone who is both a recreational drug user and suffers chronic pain, it feels like it's blame is not quite accurately aimed.

The Portugese experiment with legalisation has been an incredible success. The money saved in drug enforcement re-directed to drug education and rehabilitation. The market taken out of the hands of illegal criminals and put into the hands of legal corporate criminals so at least tax revenue is raised.

The other thing that needs to be addressed is what motivates people to abuse drugs at all (as opposed to just partying). I would there tend to point to the disempowerment and disenfranchisement of corporate capitalism.

Still, though you can't cure the world with one poem, I always admire that you want to.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Thank you Jess, I lost a nephew to drugs, so sometimes I get angry. I do not judge, I had friends who used drugs ( I dabbled ) but my favourite drug was alcohol ( legal abuse ). I suffer from back pain due to an injury from work, so you have my sympathy to hear of your chronic pain. Regards Roscoe.... PS anything in moderation..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Great poem.
Complex associations.
Beautiful flow.
This stanza is memorable

They look like a living shell,
zombie like creatures so still.
A poisonous route to hell,
dealers, call them road kill.

Your words remind me of my old friend who has become that shell. Thank you.

IRiz

Thank you, and personal congratulations on being elected. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

My pleasure.

IRiz

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