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Standing in the Rain

In a field no cover in sight,
Skies darken greenish grey
air chills, breeze gentle
Grass waving
Everything else is blurry
green blades bending and standing
so resilient yet easily bent
time is slow
days could be passing watching the grass
A drop hits a shoulder
was that bug or something else
Another on your head
Reach up to brush it off and feel liquid
Senses come alive
Start noticing, the air, the light, the breeze
Looking up another drop on your face
A few more drops
Awake to the field around
No cover to be found
More drops cold but refreshing
Even more awake no cover is needed
Pouring the clouds open
looking up and closed eyes
start to just feel
start to cry as the rain washes over you
So exhilarating to just feel
Breeze blows, goose bumps appear
Clothes soak, bones chill
Feeling down to your soul.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

It's always a great feeling to stand in the rain...i especially love the scent of soil after the first rain....is the "You" in the poem referring to someone?

be well...,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I used to hate standing in the rain but its freeing to stop caring and just enjoy the sensation.
"you" in this sense is referring to both me and hoping to reach people who have had similar experiences.

author comment

Thank you JT for explaining "you" in the poem..

be well...

raj (sublime_ocean)

to assume that the "you" is yourself, standing in the rain. I would drop the opening line, as you make reference to "no cover to be found", a bit later. The line "geen blades bending and standing, so resilient yet easily bent" could be modified to read:
[ the green blades standing tall, easily bent, but resilient." pouring, the clouds open." might be, [The clouds open up, pouring] [Head tilted up and eyes closed?] I think that [looking up, with eyes closed] makes one think about how you could be looking, with your eyes closed? Just a few minor nit-picks, I really like your imagery and you tell a good story abnout your mood. Nice work. ~ Geezer.
.

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I noticed your style of writing is to use short abrupt sentences
perhaps though in line one you might consider adding with "in a field with no cover in sight"

that is the only suggestion I have as you asked for moderate
rain rain hides and cures a multitude of feelings you can let tears flow and no one will know the difference or it can be as simple as the refreshing feeling of a summer rain

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A very warm welcome to Neopoet,

Oh I adore this, full of imagery I love the rain,
This reminds me of a Bob Marley quote, "some people feel the rain, others just get wet"

Thank you...Teddy

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