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SILENT TALES

The rising moon and setting sun
share the sky this summer eve
as doves' mourning has just begun.
Just like them I also grieve.

Wisps of ground fog begin to rise
over the close trimmed dark green grass
while the bull frogs start their cries
beside the pond as smooth as glass

And here I stand quiet and still
watching rows of precise shadows
fading on this gentle hill
while the fog and darkness grows.

In the fog I hear the memories.
Silently they tell their tales.
"listen....listen" they all tease
as the last of daylight pales.

The full moon illuminates the stones
in their rows of pristine white
each of which guards heroes' bones
in Arlington this moonlit night.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

tranquil & atmospheric piece. Just what I needed since everything so far this morning has gone wrong...all i needed to chill was a scribbler poem...thank you. I'm so chilled now I'm horizontal.

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

Don't worry things didn't go wrong they went just as they were meant to go lol. Of course that might not be what you preferred.
So don't worry everything happens for a reason although that reason might not be clear for a long time. Regarless I'm pleased my scribble brought you some peace of mind

author comment

your title suggests peace and wonderment which is delivered. I like to take these quiet walks with you. I loved your surprise ending. I thought of a poem I wrote, titled: "Gardens Of Stone" your poem is much better. my favorite lines are:

The full moon illuminates the stones
in their rows of pristine white
each of which guards heroes' bones
in Arlington this moonlit night.

I have no suggestions...perfect!
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I am pleased I manage to come up with something good once in a while. Thanks for the visit.....stan

author comment

[that you provided], in my brain; a scene in which the rows of victims of war, lie silently. A calm and peaceful scene,unlike the circumstances of their deaths. You have made a powerful statement here. My only thought of change is in the line of "Watching rows of precise shadows". I think that if you used the word [sharp] shadows, or some other single syllable word as close to precise as possible, it would make the line fall in with the rest of the smooth and precise cadence that the poem exhibits. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing! Beautiful work! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

thanks for dropping by. precise is exact in my intended meaning but sharp would add alliteration so I need to decide if meaning or poetic device should rule......I'll let it stew a few days

author comment

I liked the way the rhyming pattern falls: ABAB
I'm inspired to pick one phrase from any of the lines and write about a different idea. It's very beautiful poem, with soft rhythmic flow of sound. Meters alternating in a particular order.

Nice job!

Onyinyechi Cosmos

The ABAB rhyme scheme has somehow become my favorite one to use. I appreciate your kind words

author comment

Only thing, "Grass" and "Bass" Don't really rhyhm. I mean they do, but for me, Bass is a fish, not a frog's call!
Or maybe that's just me.

Good stuff man, keep it coming.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

You are correct about bass which is pronounced Base. indeed there is a phrase for words which should rhyme due to spelling but don't. I knew when I posted that this is a weak point in this poem and hope to eventually fix this

author comment

This poem brings fond memories of my childhood when kids gather together, under the moonlight, to listen to stories, often fairytales by an elder in the family. The rhyme schemes evokes feelings of songs and this beautifies the poem.

I always enjoy your poems.

Always good to have you drop by. Moonlight can evoke a Lot of emotion when accompanying imagery is used right and apparently I stumbled up on doing it right in this one.

author comment
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