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Shahenda’s Vocation

She steps onto the balcony, gazing
Far unto the edges of her reign.
Moonlight radiates strands of auburn hair
Eschewing from beneath her night bonnet.

The night is young, as she
What wanting and needing
Stirs within her about him
Knowing not whence he came.

Gently a cool breeze brushes her cheek
She closes her eyes, and cocks her head
Leaning on a palm which is not there
Eyes slit open and she sees her lover
She inhales and smells him
Opening her mouth tasting him
Like a snake would senses its prey.

The wind blows the echo
Of his whisper
Knowing not of her loneliness
For world shall never know
As she stands witness to mankind.

She was born with purpose
Loving all upon earth
Caretaker of this world.

Duty and honor her birth rights
Chastity and solitude her faith
No Man shall have her,
No man to hold
Born Shahenda,
“Queen of Queens”
The Watchwoman of time
The last wizard.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 


I liked this piece a lot. The style, the pace and use of vocabulary. Just one thing that puzzles me are these lines:
The night is young, as she (IS?)
What wanting and needing
Stirs within her about him

Little convoluted - just clarify that with a verb please!
THanks for the good work!


This is a rough draft>
I will work this out, thanks for the catch, when you write, and reread, it sometimes sounds right because you read it with the verbs right, and write it with the verbs wrong. LOL
Must learn to read what is there, not what I think is there! Not a good proofer for my own work.

Ellenelizabeth (EL)

Ellenelizabeth Cernek-Kashk

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