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Shahenda

She stood on top of the crest of the falls,
As sunlight danced within the rushing waters.
Hands spread upwards in meditation,
Speaking to the inner powers to appear.
Her full-length emerald green cloak
Whipping in the wind that burst forth.
As she stood on top of Kaaterskill Falls,
The wind gushed, throwing her hood aside
Letting loose a wave of waist length auburn hair.
Her green eyes flashed as she chanted.
Dazzling rays of prism light
Danced forth from her right hip,
Her powers, being flocked together.
Echoing her words in the wind
“I open to the North, I open to the East,”
“I open to the South, I open to the West,”
“Elements complete my circle!”
Suddenly an awestricken thunderclap
Rain pelted the entire world,
As the wind growled echo’s within the ears.
She stood there, head gazing sky-wards, in her harbored circle.
All light was now turning into the shadows of evil,
As she had predicted, the dark days have begun.
Her cloak whipped sky-wards
Standing straight above her up-spread hands and head.
Her eyes casting upwards, her hair hurling in the wind,
Her white gown blasted by speckles of black dirt,
Prism rays of color danced within her protected circle
Illuminating the crest she stood upon, as she chanted.
Night swallowed the day as darkness engulfed all.
There was nothing but silence, within those dark hours.
As the silence was broken with dawn’s awakening
Soft cooing of birds filled the air, the wind sighed gently
Animals stirred cautiously.
Upon the crest of Kaaterskill Falls,
Within the illuminating circle stood a graceful tree
With emerald green leaves in an upswept reach
And a white spotted trunk.
And from hence forth,
Shahenda the wizard was seen no more.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Beautiful! I could picture the whole thing perfectly in my head. Great imagery, visually stunning!

Much Love,
Elizabeth

Thanks for the read, this is a charactor I am working on for several years. I have several poems that are about her. Maybe I have a novel, but too affraid to write it! LOL stay tune for more about Shahenda!

Thanks again
Ellenelizabeth (EL)

Ellenelizabeth Cernek-Kashk
http://ellenelizabethcernekkashk.blogspot.com

author comment

eekwrite,

this was magestic. This should be the opening chapter of a fantasy story. Gripping, descriptive and totally absorbing.

Do you write novels?

Had issues with this line:

"Speaking to the inner powers to appear"

Can't decide if you wanted it said this way or whether the words 'summoning the...or asking the' would be preferable?

Anyway, loved it.

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

HS,

I wanted a strong sounding word and Asking and Summoning didn't do it for me. I did try Beckoning,and Chanting but they still did not feel right. Some how "Speaking" worked because it is like chanting in meditation, and reflective of the thunder clap. Somehow she had to speak to her inner powers to appear.

Thanks for the imput, maybe I'll try other words, "Invocking her inner powers to appear?"
Lets see!

Ellenelizabeth (EL)
http://ellenelizabethcernekkashk.blogspot.com
http://ellenelizabeth-capturedmoments.blogspot.com

Ellenelizabeth Cernek-Kashk
http://ellenelizabethcernekkashk.blogspot.com

author comment

Ellen,

I did wonder if that choice of word was done on purpose...and I can fully understand your reasoning behind the decision. Invoking is good!

I still love this piece and hope you will add further instalments.

Kindest regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

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