this is one of the first poems i wrote. I followed a boy home from school when i was 15, knocked on his door and said: ‘have you got a girlfriend?’, he said ‘no’. I said ‘do you want one? He said ‘i’ll just get my coat’. And we went out for 6 months

WILL HE?

I knocked on your door
The night was dark and cold
How would you react
To my being so bold
If you had declined
I would have walked away
Fearing nothing
To start a new day
But you were game as i
And happy at the thought
Of finding out my nature
And of my sort
We walked by the roadside
The conversation was good
We talked about anything
Anything we could
We suddenly discovered
We were almost home
But we didn’t want to leave each other
Not alone
So we sat on the corner
Cuddling tight
Afraid if we didn’t
The cold might bite
When ten o’clock came
And we said ‘goodbye’
Our hands departed
Mine with a little sigh
‘I’ll see you tomorrow’
You said ‘o.k’
And i went to bed
Seeking Saturday

Next is a poem about my daughter and how i felt about her at the time which was when i was around 29yrs old:

Fear of getting it wrong
brand new eyes
a beating heart
sounds all around
she's just at the start
listening, learning
watching in awe
feeling for the first time
practising for what it's for
every whisper
every glow
every shadow
more and more to know
mimicking, muttering
babbling on
forming thoughts
of her own
that she'll use from now on
then i see the person
not just the form
beautiful but fiesty
friendly and warm
developing daily
there's much more to come
it's a wonderous journey
being a mum
she's two already
where did it go?
with the snap of a finger
my memories grow
will i be enough?
will i be strong?
will i get through those troubles?
that her life brings along?
i will always love her
but will she me?
will she still need me
when she has the key?
will she still run
into my arms
when alarm bells ring
and there's sweat on her palms?
i just hope i can protect her
that much is true
and that she's deeply happy
when her journey is through
what can i do
to make it alright?
to ravage those beasties
that run in the night?
to keep her mind clear
of horrible thoughts
and back-stabbing bastards
that come from all walks?
'not a lot', i hear you say
just hold her hand
and pray, and pray
'angel,
if you exist at all
help me be
the best mum of all'

This is one of my favorites, it is me asking myself where i want to be, written around age 40:

Talking with my conciousness

when I wish upon a star
I send up all my soul
I yearn and reach and stretch up high
for it to make me whole
my eyes well up
a tear rolls down
for all of my regrets
the little girl inside me asks
'hold me, hug me, save me
take away this stress'
I want it all to go away
please twinkle down tonight
take my pain, wash it clean
make me be alright
for star you know i'm hurting
and cannot take yet more
hold me now my awesome friend
open that new door
lead me through the gateway
to the promised land
where all my pain can melt away
as you place my feet upon your hand
float my mind in happiness
my heart, massage in grace
put a health throughout my body
in that better place
do I twinkle now like you
my soul asks of my friend
'you always did'
he says to me
in a whisper on the wind
and I look up
and see him fade
he's gone now from my view
but a part of me feels better
and I wipe that tear anew
it's good to have a friend sometimes
a cuddle on your skin
I thank my star and turn away
and hope for calm
to light within

One more to show you that i only wrote last week but i do have many, many more; this one is purely about how i am feeling emotionally right now:

Life

today i feel different
than i did back then
life is a journey
that i could not write
with this pen
some of it's cruel
some of it nice
some of it is distressing
but you wouln't put a price
on everything you've felt
everything you've known
and every little detail
you've felt as you've grown
where are you going
what do you feel
play a little longer
on this ferris wheel?
i don't know anymore
is it time to give up
all of those dreams
seem to always go tits up
people want to use
they don't want to give
people hurt your soul
do you still want to live?
stand on your feet
be strong and tall
and as they fall down
one by one
you're no longer small
believe in your values
and all that is right
so you're nice and cumfy
on your pillows at night
do not ever loose your soul
to others that are jelous
cruel and betraying
cos at the end of the day
who's the one still playing?
while they sink down
and fade away
never loose faith
live for today

I have never entered a poetry competition before and am not hoping for much here, im currently quite ill but my friend said i should try, so i have, i hope you enjoy my lines, thank you.