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Seedling's seed to Earth

Seedling’s seed to Earth

Simple seedling, to seed and shoot,
I pray you grow into a peoples brute.
Quiet and soft are all good and well,
but some won’t listen until you yell.

That mother Earth a champion needs,
the bravest hero now concedes.
And though I lurch into the absurd,
the champion I plant, the simple word.

Banish tyranny’s evil sword and gun,
this is spoken battles, that must be won.
Let all that lives on this inhuman land,
know, no more will die from a raised hand.

Cast a lectern for all to speak and hear,
bring forth our future hold them near.
That future to be our flowering youth,
grow them the fruits of an innocent truth.

They’ll calm the land with the rhetorical spear,
speaking not to a country but a planets ear.
A simple virgin vessel with our trust invested,
knowledge carrying a word honestly, when tested.

The seeds of peace are within this mother earth,
mans continuous evil, disabling her at birth.
Walking the lands with an all conquering gait,
she may soon perish yet he redeems ingrate.

Flowering not the word of a saving grace,
much are the horrors that good people face.
Sprout now wordsmith’s with greatest strength,
to travel this Earth’s breadth and length.

Taking forth what before I say,
we must prepare to honour.
Peace is the birth so deserving,
we must bestow upon her.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I believe we have it in us as a people,to stand up and be counted. The lands we love must be saved from the greedy modern robber barons.

Comments

every word you have written, I pray to the spirit of all mankind, that someday soon, all men everywhere will realise that this is the only earth we have, and take care of it accordingly. I don't suppose it will happen anytime too soon. As long as there are greedy people, they will spend their lives thinking of only themselves, and forget their children. Nice job for the most part, but I think it stumbles a little at the end. Maybe you can find a way to fix it and keep the part about peace for the earth deserved. Or change the preceding line? ~ Geezer

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I have just got round to answering you now, the reason being i have a new job. The job means i have to work away from home, and i can't always get to a computor.Firstly thank you for commenting, and i will do some more work on this poem. Once again thank you, Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I see you are back and well. This piece is good and I think to polish it up on some of the lines got long as I tried to smooth out the read. I got the message good but just my tweak or two for you as I welcome your soul back to Neopeot:)

Love Magics Mona

missed you:)

Mona, i am missing you all as well, but as i explained above i have this new job. I would be very intrested to see your ideas for this poem. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Welcome back, it is very good to see you.
You poem is very good, if a bit preachy at times.
I like the rhymes very much. The cadence occassionally fails a little, particularly where the lines become a little long, in some stanzas, but the overall emotional and inspirational content of the piece is not diminished, I think because of the vividness of your imagery.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

to hear from you as well, i can't always get to work on my poems the way i once did. But i respect what you say, and will give this some thought. Thank you for your time and comments. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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