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Saturday Night Ah No Fever

Currents in my inner skin
sting like sharply pointed
ninety nine pins

week end is going to be dry
Saturday and Sundays
everything sealed
no surprise nothing to try

where in the garbage bin of time
can we ourselves dispose
early morning we all rose

sun was peeping
scratching inner thighs
kept me sighing

clouds requested O sun
wait master now sleeps
though slightly too late

hearing the silent laughter
suddenly get up faster
pulling curtains aside
allowing our only sun
upon us to smilingly glide

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Hi, Lovedly,
"...the sun was keen to peep in
but scratching inside doors
kept me sighing..."

This feels as if the sun is searching, hopeful for companionship. For me, this is quaint and tender.
Thank you!

makes my life bloat with fun
kindness Ma'am

author comment

Hi lovedly, lovely poem. Not sure what you mean by the title. Of course I saw the movie, but does it fit your poem. I suppose it's an irony, now I'm getting it, I think...
The imagery is pretty and my only nit, you must be tired of hearing me, is that your poem needs tweaking. Too many unnecessary words. In the last line, for example, you've got an extra "come". And so on.
Enjoyed and will return. Must enjoy this sunny Winter day. Best, Gracy

"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

for me a delight
I rectified
with grace
you have a marvelous mind
in place

author comment
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