Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Respect for the Men in Green

Of all the potential possibilities,
The man is a man of democracy.
A believer of fundamental freedoms and liberties.

One who, in the face of tyranny,
Does what is necessary to claim victory.

He sacrifices his limbs and his innocent mentality,
And for what?
So civilized beneficiaries can claim their rewards are spoiled fruits of insidious mysteries?

These treasonous traitors are the only things spoiling our glorious democracy.
They spit in the face of our men in green,
Men, who sacrifice their spirit, soul, and body; so that we may live in serenity.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Looking forward to more of your work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

about your line: "So civilized beneficiaries can claim their rewards
are spoiled fruits of insidious mysteries?"
I think that you may have wanted an [and] instead of [are]?
Certainly a political work if I've ever seen one!

As I am not familiar with the political scene in New Zealand,
I can only guess at what mysteries you speak of. Your title is okay
and drew me in, but I'm not sure of who they are. I assume the military?
Your language use is good and the theme is not unfamiliar.
I think your logic is reflected in the over-all evaluation. ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Hello, BrazKiwi,
I sense the deep gut here, and for the most part, i understand your meaning. But I am confused by what, for me, seems to be a very important line: what are the "spoiled fruits of insidious mysteries" - I gotta know.
Thank you so much!
Lavender

is very good. Quite advanced and a pleasure to read due to all the complexities it allows for. While I generally do not prefer free-verse, this is so close in both meter and rhyme to Western Structured, I cannot help but enjoy it. The meanings you pack into such little space are jarring and, sadly, true. Even in the USA this happens. We ought to respect and appreciate our Men in Green more.

I hope you post more poetry. Your philosophical outlook and expression are both intriguing and unique.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

its common all over the world
don't control population
use chlorophyll only
and
bury him with nature naturally
he was used to camouflage sincerely
he was looked after when alive dearly
why cry
when you are now
about to die happily

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.