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Respect for the Men in Green
Of all the potential possibilities,
The man is a man of democracy.
A believer of fundamental freedoms and liberties.
One who, in the face of tyranny,
Does what is necessary to claim victory.
He sacrifices his limbs and his innocent mentality,
And for what?
So civilized beneficiaries can claim their rewards are spoiled fruits of insidious mysteries?
These treasonous traitors are the only things spoiling our glorious democracy.
They spit in the face of our men in green,
Men, who sacrifice their spirit, soul, and body; so that we may live in serenity.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Ray Whitaker
Sun, 2020-11-08 06:02
Welcome to the site.
Looking forward to more of your work.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Geezer
Sun, 2020-11-08 10:04
I'm wondering...
about your line: "So civilized beneficiaries can claim their rewards
are spoiled fruits of insidious mysteries?"
I think that you may have wanted an [and] instead of [are]?
Certainly a political work if I've ever seen one!
As I am not familiar with the political scene in New Zealand,
I can only guess at what mysteries you speak of. Your title is okay
and drew me in, but I'm not sure of who they are. I assume the military?
Your language use is good and the theme is not unfamiliar.
I think your logic is reflected in the over-all evaluation. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Tue, 2020-11-10 09:51
Respect For The Men in Green
Hello, BrazKiwi,
I sense the deep gut here, and for the most part, i understand your meaning. But I am confused by what, for me, seems to be a very important line: what are the "spoiled fruits of insidious mysteries" - I gotta know.
Thank you so much!
Lavender
lovedly
Mon, 2020-12-14 20:13
we all belong to a common world but have you ever thought
its common all over the world
don't control population
use chlorophyll only
and
bury him with nature naturally
he was used to camouflage sincerely
he was looked after when alive dearly
why cry
when you are now
about to die happily