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REDrum
Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash
Stainless steel
Cold to touch
Vermillion streaks
No life to clutch
Scarlet embers
Blow like fallen ash
Over and over
Until his last breath
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2022-07-11 06:06
If I were...
the "unsuspecting flesh", I would be very afraid to fall asleep in your presence. Of course, "unsuspecting" is the key word here. I got the message! Brrrrrrr. This is as chilling as any "Killer" story I've ever told! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2022-07-11 07:40
Thanks Gee!
For the high compliment! It is hard to come even a little close to Killer's cold and calculating expertise. I am glad this one sparked a little chill for you.
~RoseBlack~
Rosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2022-07-11 06:17
REDrum
Are you also taking Cat’s challenge and using colors?
Geezer
Mon, 2022-07-11 06:24
I may do so...
it seems that the things I have been planning haven't yet been worked out in my muse's mind. She is such a fussy thing! LoL~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Rosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2022-07-11 07:02
Maybe
…
RoseBlack
Mon, 2022-07-11 07:38
Hi Tim
I did accept Cat's challenge. I decided to step out of my usual reference to black or grey. This seemed to role right off my pen.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Mon, 2022-07-11 18:01
dear RB,
the first thing I thought of was the flick "the Shining" and crazy Jack Nicholson (sp?) this poem is an excellent contender for the (Red Contest) my favorite lines are:
Sanguine dreams
Unsuspecting flesh
Crimson nightmares
Rage's steaming flash
and it builds from there!!!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2022-07-11 18:25
Rage is a driving force
And the color red is a perfect match for all the feelings that go with it. Thank you for your insight.
~RoseBlack~
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-07-15 14:21
Beautiful!
I really liked your premise on which your poem was built. Extraordinary artistic thought !
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-07-15 14:32
Thank you Jack
For your input. Very much appreciated
~RoseBlack~
Depressed 1
Tue, 2022-08-16 01:34
Staccato
I like the conciseness of it. It says so much in such a staccato rhythm.
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
RoseBlack
Tue, 2022-08-16 02:49
Thank you
Glad you liked it
~RoseBlack~