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Proudest Moments

My proudest moment began at age one
I walked across the floor in fun

As I got older I held my first report card with glee
I couldn’t wait for my Mom to see

I walked across the auditorium floor with my certificate in joy
And watched my family clap with for their favorite boy

I moved into the world with a brand new wife
To begin my own family life

A year later I was proud to be
The father of a clan of three

As the years passed by my family expanded even more
Creating grandchildren and benefits galore

My proudest moments I now say
Change each and every day

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Proudest Moments" follows a chronological narrative, detailing significant life events. It effectively uses rhyme and rhythm to create a pleasant flow. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.

1. Consistency in Meter: The poem seems to aim for an AABB rhyme scheme, which works well in most parts. However, the meter (the rhythmic structure) is inconsistent. For example, the first two lines have a different number of syllables, disrupting the rhythm. A more consistent meter would enhance the poem's musicality.

2. Show, Don't Tell: The poem could benefit from more vivid, concrete imagery. Instead of directly stating emotions (e.g., "I held my first report card with glee"), the poem could show these emotions through actions, sensory details, or metaphors. This would allow readers to experience the emotions more deeply.

3. Grammar and Syntax: There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be revised for clarity and fluidity. For example, "And watched my family clap with for their favorite boy" seems to have an extra word ("with") that disrupts the sentence's flow.

4. Theme Development: The theme of pride in one's life achievements is clear, but it could be developed further. The poem could explore why these moments are the speaker's proudest, what they mean to him, and how they have shaped his identity. This would add depth and complexity to the poem.

5. Title: The title "Proudest Moments" is a direct reflection of the poem's content. However, it could be more creative or intriguing to draw readers in. Consider a title that hints at the poem's theme without stating it outright.

In conclusion, the poem has a strong foundation with its clear narrative and theme. With more attention to meter, imagery, grammar, and theme development, it could be even more engaging and impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Very crisp and nice depiction of your life line thanks for sharing

Thank you very much. As I was thinking, as time passes new moments replace those of the past.proudest moments change as we change.

author comment

Brought a tear to my eye...all the beautiful milestones in your life and how proud you are of yourself and your family! Well done!


Thank you Rose. I just think that as we age our proud moments change.

author comment

a suggestion for the first line: "My proudest moment began at one" (insert the word (age) after (at) and before (one) I really enjoyed your poem, especially the last two lines.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks Cat, I did make the change suggested, thank you.

author comment
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