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Poet Boy
He fell in love with poetry
as boy upon his mother’s knee.
She fed him rhymes to help him sleep,
read sonnets when her babe would weep.
She dressed him in a poet’s cloak,
and sang to him each time he woke.
Like Sappho, singing with her lyre,
as he lay dreaming by the fire.
Then Life dealt her a bitter blow,
and sorrow in her soul did grow.
So she could voice her verse no more,
nor nurse him as she did before.
Her sonnet-son she used to love,
she slew that dear, defenceless dove.
This mother, torn by tragic truth
was widowed in her broken youth.
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-07-24 18:20
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Poet Boy" explores the theme of a young boy's love for poetry and the impact of his mother's inability to continue nurturing his passion. The poem has a clear narrative and uses imagery to convey emotions and experiences. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened.
Firstly, consider the use of rhyme throughout the poem. While rhyme can add musicality and structure to a poem, it is important to ensure that it does not feel forced or predictable. In some instances, the rhymes in this poem feel a bit forced, such as "sleep" and "weep" or "lyre" and "fire." Consider exploring alternative word choices or experimenting with different rhyme schemes to create a more natural flow.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further development of the mother's character and her relationship with the boy. The poem briefly mentions that she used to read him sonnets and dress him in a poet's cloak, but it would be interesting to delve deeper
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Mon, 2023-07-24 13:33
The story...
is a tragedy, and written like the bards of old would have written it.
Nicely done, the poor boy never had a chance, and I seriously doubt he would have survived his mother's coddling. The language use is good, the rhythm is very good, and it flows well from beginning to end.
Good job!
~Geez.
.
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Blue-eyed Bolla
Tue, 2023-07-25 11:58
poet boy
Many thanks, Geezer
KBloor
author commentLavender
Mon, 2023-07-24 15:42
Poet Boy
Hello!
I agree much with what Geezer said, but I believe I was expecting a sonnet form. Still, nice rhythm and tight rhyme.
Thank you!
L
Blue-eyed Bolla
Tue, 2023-07-25 11:59
poet boy
Thank you. Totally agree with you: this should be a sonnet!
KBloor
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