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THE PLIGHT OF A STAMMERER

Relax and take a breath
that’s the cure
in a rush don’t speak
on pressure don’t talk
bla, blah, blah, pa, pa, pa
like a bad radio wave

eyes angrily speaking
tongues creaking
walls been punished by the hands
even the one beside hurts
when their lyrics is not understood
or tone not flowing
jiggle your head
I understand, I concur.
with a keen eye
coupled with a smile

For anger boils in vains
and the mother of words enslaved
chained by the mind, the brother of the tongue
His fist has no patience at all
When mocked
“A stammerer”
a gift,
never to thank nature for.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
looking through my uncle's eyes i understand what he goes through just to drop his mind. even though most times i don't understand his statements but i will never let him repeat himself. i know he never bargained for this, but nature did it for him.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this write and enjoyed the change.
Just be careful of like sounding words that are spelt different, such as Vain and vein , also the use of "is" which some accents dictate instead of "are"..
Take care, yours Ian..

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

A nice piece depicting well the plight of a stammerer. Thanks for sharing Chiori.

has a physicality to it that I really admire. Good job!

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