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our goddess

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Thu, 2023-03-02 10:32

She dances ’neath the showers
at odd nocturnal hours
among the trees and bowers
where witch and black cat cowers.
They say she has strange powers,
like wizards in their towers.
This ghost, who glares and glowers:
her gaze can fade the flowers.
She stares at milk - it sours!
Like demon, she devours,
but in the daylight hours,
when sun dries up the showers,
This goddess, she empowers!
And we are glad she’s ours!

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Last few words: 
dedicated to my lovely Lorraine, a true goddess
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Blue-eyed Bolla

Fri, 2023-03-03 02:27

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

You were right first time: this is about a woman. However, it really does seem more to fit a cat! Thank you for that amazing insight.

KBloor

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Seren

Thu, 2023-03-02 10:42

Seren's picture

I'm smiling and entranced by this it's a wonderful tribute to your Lorraine. My sister in law shares the same name.

but in the daylight hours,
when sun dries up the showers,
This goddess, she empowers!
And we are glad she’s ours!

These are my favourite lines, Bravo!!.

Kind regards Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Blue-eyed Bolla

Fri, 2023-03-03 02:28

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Thank you, Jayne.

KBloor

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Geezer

Thu, 2023-03-02 18:02

Geezer's picture
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only thing I would do, is to add an [a] in the line: "Like [a] demon, she devours"
Other than that, it's good to go. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

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Blue-eyed Bolla

Fri, 2023-03-03 02:16

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Thank you, Geezer. Yeah, I agree with you about 'like demon,' I was just avoiding breaking the meter by including 'a'. Many thanks once more for your insightful feedback.

KBloor

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Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2023-03-03 05:50

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Totally loved it. It’s quite a breeze to read and really coherent in its movements. Impeccable rhyming!

Tim

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