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The One Behind Her Eyes

Something is not right with the girl reflected in the glass.
While her hair is tied up, face done and dressed with class,
the emptiness in her eyes sinks deep like a lonely crevasse.
How long has she been gone and since someone looked within?
What darkness has entered, crawled beneath her skin?
The girl who used to be there is gone but how long has it been?

I can tell you what happened, the reflected one whispers to me.
However I'm petrified you won't understand, believe or truly see
the way this monster inside made a home despite my plea.
One day a man came and handed him the keys to my mind.
Inside he strolled, unpacked his things, proceeding to destroy all mine.
Fought me until I was but a husk and then shut me up confined.

Day after day I watch alone and afraid, locked in the shadows.
He leans back in his chair directing her moves so nobody knows
that there's another within the soul, one I never chose.
The poor girl is told by those around her to not fall into disarray.
Yet inside he keeps whispering thoughts that just won't go away.
there are some who notice a change but to which she replies "I'm okay".

Can you tell me where to find my joy, the girl in the glass asks?
All he has left me with is numbness, an inability to find meaning in any task.
The lies whispered tell me no one cares, easier to cover it with a mask.
I simply cannot find the beautiful girl who used to be there.
Perhaps one day she'll return, the one who could focus during prayer.
But for now, I'm trapped in here alone with that monster in the armchair.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words: 
After a traumatic incident with a guy, I have suffered deeply from anxiety and depression. The emotions of feeling alone and trapped within my mind with thoughts and emotions I hated has been really difficult. I wrote this poem after I spent 20 minutes just sitting and staring into the mirror, looking into the eyes reflected back at me and not recognising my own reflection, not seeing the joyful girl who I used to be. My hope is that these words written in my pain would help someone else feel less alone in theirs.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


to Neopoet, lost girl. I cannot speak for every person's faith, but my personal understanding of Jesus' suffering goes far beyond what a third party could ever outline (or even imagine) in terms of suffering. I believe that his teaching helps people through difficult times in our lives.
I hope the person in the mirror helps you find happiness.
It's obvious you spent a fair bit of time working on your poem and I can't suggest a single thing to improve it. I hope you find enough distraction here to keep you writing.


. like my lost dreams...the flood

Triskelion, I would say the same. I hope that you will find peace and the girl you used to know, while you are here with our family. I am pleased that you wish to help others in your plight, to find a bit of solace in realizing that they are not alone. It means that you are on the way to healing. My only criticism on your work, is that in the tenth line, you say that " One day a man came and handed the keys to my mind." I know what you meant to say, but you didn't say it. Fix that and I think you have a pretty good poem to start off with here on Neo. Welcome to our family. ~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Welcome to Neopoet. Sometimes writing our feelings help us cope with them. And don't worry about your refection. I am a healthy strong young guy.......until I look in the mirror then there I am lol

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