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No Fear
No more hiding in the darkness
No more saying 'I can't do this'
No more running from mistakes
Be the reason the ground shakes
No more tears in the dead of night
No more hiding, it's time to fight
Don't come up with a negative reason
No more fear, that was last season
No more whispers of not being enough
No more backing up if things get rough
You better strap in if you're in for this ride
Don't just live, it's time for you to be alive
Don't control your heart, but master your mind
To conquer the world you gotta face what's inside
No more doubt, My vision is looking crystal clear
Winning doesn't require no pain, it takes No Fear
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-07-26 21:50
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "No Fear" demonstrates a strong and empowering message, encouraging the reader to face their fears and take control of their life. The use of repetition with the phrase "No more" effectively emphasizes the theme of overcoming obstacles and moving forward.
However, the poem could benefit from more varied and vivid imagery. Currently, the language is quite direct and literal. Incorporating metaphorical language could add depth and richness to the poem, allowing readers to engage more deeply with the text.
The rhythm of the poem is generally consistent, which helps to create a sense of momentum and drive. However, there are a few lines that disrupt this rhythm, such as "Don't come up with a negative reason" and "Winning doesn't require no pain, it takes No Fear". Adjusting these lines to better fit the established rhythm could improve the overall flow of the poem.
The double negative in the final line "Winning doesn't require no pain, it takes No Fear" can be confusing. It may be more effective to rephrase this line to avoid the double negative, for example: "Winning requires pain, it takes No Fear".
Finally, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of its theme. The idea that one can simply choose to stop feeling fear or doubt is a powerful one, but it may not resonate with all readers. Delving deeper into the complexities of these emotions could make the poem more relatable and impactful.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Wed, 2023-07-26 16:16
Hmmmm...
I am strangely moved by this one.
I would claim that your rhythm is ragged, but I'm not sure that it matters.
I know, I know, I'm usually all about the rhyme and rhythm, but I don't want to stifle
the awakening of the new you. I'm sure that you will find your rhythm after you
read it back to yourself aloud. It does make a difference, when you read it aloud.
It helps to find the natural breathing and the stumbles. Nice to see you writing again.
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Shelby Pryor
Wed, 2023-07-26 16:58
Geezer
Thank you so much! I appreciate your advice and I'll definitely examine my poem! Also it's great to be back!
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