Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Night Works

Submitted by jane210660 on Sun, 2016-05-08 06:52

At night, the poems
Half formed,
Swirl between worlds,
Beguiling and beckoning.
Singing their songs of mystery
Sirens of the soul.

With morning light,
I will my words
To flow
In a great and glorious crescendo,
Showering the page with their glory.
Forging the link between
Mind and matter.

Yet as I type,
My beautiful, fragile creatures
Fragment and dismember.
They drift to a far dimension
Where unconscious and conscious
Do not belong.
And all I have left
To tempt and tease,
Is the dim, haunting shadow
Of their ghostly song.

Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

scribbler

Sun, 2016-05-08 07:45

Volunteer badge

Yeah, sometimes the muse hits when it in inconvenient to write it down than..poof!...it's gone lol. Enjoyed your poem.............stan

jane210660

Sun, 2016-05-08 08:54

jane210660's picture
Volunteer badge

Hi Stan
Still trying to grasp the ethereal strands of 'my greatest work' . It may take some time. It's like knitting fog.
Nice to meet you all. Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

brittle light

Sun, 2016-05-08 07:49

brittle light's picture

Very neat
A clear, bright shiny voice
A strong active vocabulary that never overwhelmed.
A natural, easy going rhythm.
and if poems had a bouquet, this would be mmmm ah!... NICE

I enjoyed this a lot!

Al

jane210660

Sun, 2016-05-08 09:00

jane210660's picture
Volunteer badge

Hi Al
Thanks for taking the time to read it. I do write a lot - (I talk a lot too, more difficult to convey over the great wide interweb thingy).
I've been working on a few things of late, which no doubt will wing their way onto these pages. Hope you enjoy them! Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

Rula

Sun, 2016-05-08 08:34

Rula's picture
Volunteer badge

I can absolutely relate to your words except that I never thought to write about it .
Thanks for sharing and a warm welcome to Neopoet.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

jane210660

Sun, 2016-05-08 09:04

jane210660's picture
Volunteer badge

Hello Rula, thank you for mentoring me, I need a minder :-)
I will have a look at the workshops, it may take me a day or two to navigate my way around............! Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

Sparrow

Mon, 2016-05-09 18:59

Sparrow's picture
Volunteer badge

The theme of this is great and your write is grand, making a good read.
I look forward to many more from your chattering lol.
Good name for a compilation of your works if and when they are put together.. "A Chattering of Words"
Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

jane210660

Tue, 2016-05-10 03:05

jane210660's picture
Volunteer badge

Thank you, it's lovely to come downstairs this morning and read your comment.
And I LOVE your title suggestion. :-) Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

Sparrow

Tue, 2016-05-10 03:37

Sparrow's picture
Volunteer badge

I am so long in the tooth that I am welcome during the ploughing season lol.
I have a site on the net where there are several workshops from a while back so if the site is of use to you just have a wander, there is loads of my history there but just ignore the ones that are not needed:- yenti.co.uk
Is where you will find many of my writes if you need help on things just ask, Yours as always, Ian.Tx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

weirdelf

Wed, 2016-05-11 10:18

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

I can taste your delight in language. And I love that pic you put on your home page!
As Ian said, just click on Workshop>Find a workshop>Archive and you can get a taste of workshops we have already run. I specialise in critique and meter.
Normally I would have something to say about scansion, word choice and even content, however this piece sits well just as it is. I apologise, I can suggest nothing,

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

jane210660

Wed, 2016-05-11 10:59

jane210660's picture
Volunteer badge

Thank you. I've already had a look at some past workshops and will certainly join in when one comes along. Got a lot of time on my hands at the moment, due to a few health hiccups. Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2016-05-13 16:50

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

written a better description of the searching for an escaped poem! The shy ones and the proverbial bad seed that just run away; leaving a rather nimbus-like trail. Sometimes they return, slightly changed by their experience and are all the better for it! I have many of those. I also have the ones that grow up over a period of days or weeks and mature into [in my opinion] great work. I like the feel you have for capturing the moment that often passes by other people. I'm sure that as many others here on Neo. that you will inspire me to write a poem on thoughts that occur to me as I read your work. Thanks for sharing, ~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

jane210660

Sat, 2016-05-14 02:08

jane210660's picture
Volunteer badge

Thanks for your wise words. I think reading such a wide breadth of material is really inspirational and a great stimulus. Particularly on those 'blah' days, when nothing seems to flow. Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.