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My old doll

I stare at my stuffed raggedy toy doll with their curled tied And twisted Strings of hair painted with the fading bashful color of blue. And always wearing that simple sowed on smile of enlightenment. and it’s pleasant pink painted Charming cheeks. Then it’s big round constantly lost and found button brown eyes always shining out the hyper feeling Of surprise. It always wears it’s Mixed matched patched up tattered and torn attire That is always drenched in marvelous merriment . Of it’s long overcoat covered with the ingenious dark serene color of green. which covers it’s white dress shirt That is striped in lines of intertwined chaotic kaleidoscopic colors of the rainbow. And Cowering Under the shirt it wears it’s long bagged wrinkled pants that is plastered with bright charismatic yellow polka dots that happily leap with glee. And then it is all topped of with its paper flower which is scented with the amorous scent of the Endearing dandelions and like a needle sews visions of lost loved ones and forgotten but still cherished friends that stay alive through The beloved memories engraved within this Darling divine little doll of mine.

Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Not Explicit Content

Comments

It would help immensely if you could break this down into stanzas it would be much easier on the reader

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

Ma'am please read his bio you will understnd
I corrected one
you may do this one
help the kid 15 years
may see his snap

edward,

I often enjoy the words and descriptions that you use.
Here, I particularily liked the wordings of
"big round constantly lost and found button brown eyes" and
"Mixed matched patched up tattered and torn attire"
The "constantly lost and found" eyes made the toy feel very real and familiar.

By the way, did you perhaps mean "sews" rather than "sows?"

enjoyed!

raffy

And yes I did me sews

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Hi Edward, I like this prose poem very much. There are some mistakes but nothing serious. It's one raggedy doll, but in the first line you say "their". Easily corrected. All the way through you use the plural, so maybe you could say you have several dolls.
I think it would be better to break it up into stanzas, but that's your choice. I read in your bio that you're having quite serious health problems. I have a friend who has to have the fluid in her brain drained, the surgery consisted in inserting a tube that goes inside down to her bladder, I believe.
It's wonderful that you've become a poet and writer. Keep it up, you have enormous talent. All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you I hope your doing fine in this time of mass hysteria

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Thank you, Edward, same to you. Take care and all the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

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