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My Lovely Lady Grey

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Thu, 2023-04-13 10:27

She sits serene, so statuesque,
not posed like dancer's arabesque.
Her features form a faithful face,
like goddess of a long-dead race.

She sparkles like the silver moon
on summer nights in flaming June.
Then sheds her lustre and her light
upon my dark and dreary night.

She's silent, sometimes, as the trees.
Unshook by breath of boisterous breeze.
Her heart, that’s of a tender kind,
is merged with melancholic mind.

She speaks and woos the weeping waves.
The beauty in her voice betrays
an angel, in a female frame.
Olympian, with human name.

Who is this purest, priceless pearl
dressed in the guise of goddess girl?
If you don't know by now, I'll tell.
All questioning I'll duly quell:

She is my lovely lady grey
who smiled on me one autumn day
when I was lifeless as a leaf,
fresh fallen in my godless grief.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
for my lovely lady, Lorraine
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2023-04-13 10:27

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "My Lovely Lady Grey" is a beautiful tribute to the persona's beloved. The language is graceful, and the imagery is vivid, creating a serene and ethereal atmosphere. The persona's admiration for their lady is expressed in a heartfelt and romantic manner.

One suggestion for line edit would be to replace "merged with" with "mingled with," as it would flow better with the rest of the poem's language.

The poem's structure is consistent, with four stanzas, each containing four lines. The rhyme scheme is ABAB, which adds to the poem's musical quality. The use of enjambment creates a smooth and natural flow, making the poem easy to read.

The use of personification is notable, as the lady is described as having a "tender kind" heart and speaking to the "weeping waves." This adds depth and personality to the lady, making her seem more than just a mere object of admiration.

Overall, "My Lovely Lady Grey" is a well-crafted and emotionally resonant poem that celebrates the beauty and grace of the persona's beloved. The language, imagery, and structure all work together to create a moving and memorable tribute.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Thu, 2023-04-13 11:35

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very much! It seems as though she is a steady influence on your life and makes you feel good! Your title is good, the word use is better, and the whole thing hangs together nicely! Great job!
~ Geez.
.

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Blue-eyed Bolla

Thu, 2023-04-13 11:38

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Many thanks, Geezer. Yeah, she has been my muse for many years. Glad Neo also gave it the thumbs up.

KBloor

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Blue-eyed Bolla

Fri, 2023-04-14 08:47

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Many thanks, Ekaterina. She would probably just roll her eyes. She is my Muse though.

KBloor

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