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My Love For You

Submitted by Mikeozams on Tue, 2018-07-31 11:54

It envelopes me,
Thoughts through emotions,
emotions fulfilled in actions.

It enraptures me,
dazed through my thoughts,
thoughts expressed in gales of language.

It unfurls me,
the curls and turns in my soul,
soul bespeaks as the heart exhales.

It pulls me,
Along the path of denouement,
From me to you, this build up states.

It knows no colour,
It bears no wrong,
Yea, things still go wrong.

Love is my story,
It is what I say,
That's what I'll do.

I am for you my love,
Thou art my attention,
Thou are my poetry.

©Uchenna Ozoekwe
aka Bethany Blaze.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Tue, 2018-07-31 14:54

the tribulations of being in love very well expressed in these verses...a rarely used word denouement fits well here...
..................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Mikeozams

Tue, 2018-07-31 14:58

Mikeozams's picture

Thanks man especially for the emphasis.

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2018-07-31 15:09

lovedly's picture

cinquins ---- 5 liners extraordinary
we must all be creative
that's why I started
FREESTYLE
Since years fifty

'''I am for you my love,
Thou art my attention,
Thou are my poetry.'''''....... superbly excellent how lucky she is

Mikeozams

Tue, 2018-07-31 21:45

Mikeozams's picture

I guess you are right. I will tweak it to be 'thoughts through emotions, emotions fulfilled in actions' It's actually my motivation behind the lines.
I appreciate your input.

author comment

Mikeozams

Wed, 2018-08-01 19:30

Mikeozams's picture

Aww. Thanks a lot. I appreciate.

author comment

chevyvent

Tue, 2018-07-31 22:02

chevyvent's picture

Made you really think especially 3rd stanza "It unfurls me,
the curls and turns in my soul,
soul bespeaks as the heart exhales."

I want to read more of your writings the whole concept of this piece in my opinion centers on the love of emotions.

Extremely good words you have inked.

Mario Vitale

Mikeozams

Wed, 2018-08-01 19:29

Mikeozams's picture

Thanks a lot Mario. I appreciate your kind words. Weirdelf has been a great mentor too.

author comment
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