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My Heart Needs You

Day after day
I think about you
Night after night
I toss in my sleep
Wondering what I mean to you
When you are away
I cry myself to sleep
Lo and behold I
Silently weep
For my heart cries out
Your name
But deep inside I'm feeling
The same
As I've done when we first met
Baby there is so many mistakes
That I regret
The good we shared
Together brought
Happiness to my mind
The sound of your voice
Always Helped me
to unwind
The way you brought
Peace deep within
My heart
Baby my love for you
Shall never part
My heart needs you
Right here by my side
Cause you have been
So good to me
I won't say goodbye
The happiness you stir
Within me
Makes my heart
Desire to only be
Yours and only yours
Until the end of my time
My heart needs you
And the love
You know we share
Cause baby you know
How much I do care
My heart needs you
Even when I've seemed
to fail you
I'm still here for
You always and forevermore
My heart needs you
To hold me when I cry
Cause without you
I just want to die
( END)

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
My wife and I recently went through very difficult time.. I wrote this for her to express my true love I feel for her regardless of all we went through... My wife reads many of my writings of poetry... She thinks I should get a job doing this for a living... Truthfully... I AGREE..
Editing stage: 


Welcome to the site! You must know
that everyone has written love poems.
While yours seemingly works for you,
for me, it doesn't take me there.

Less is more ... focus on your theme,
use less words to get the image and
take your reader with you.

Thanks Moon Man

Paul Harris

author comment

tell me more about who you've been reading, I've read a lot and might be able to help.

Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

And welcome to Neo. I liked the feelings conveyed because they seem honest. I would suggest you break this up into stanzas,.By doing so you give the reader a break here and there to pause and think about what they just read, kinda like a paragraph in plain writing..........stan

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