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My Cousins Baby

Now my cousin had a baby, about a year ago or so.
And we saw him first on Facebook, far before they let us know.
Such a handsome little chappy; yet another lost relation,
But we went down south to visit, as we forced an invitation.

“Oh, isn't he lovely” they said as they peeked,
“Isn't he gorgeous - all round and red-cheeked.”
They looked and they smiled, “What a well-filled-out child.”
Some laughed and some roared and some shrieked.

There sat the baby like a pink piggy jelly.
There, but for eyes, sat a big pleated belly.
His arms and his legs must go two-hundred pound,
And that’s only part of the huge flabby mound.

“Oh, we can't stop him eating,” said his mother, Irene.
“And just quelling the flow makes us feel rather mean.
We know that he's growing; it can't be denied,
And he's partial to dog food, so they're fed outside.

Well, thanks for his present; he was ever so pleased.
And the girl down at Mothercare (first name Louise),
She’s like one of the family; she's really first-class
At exchanging us things that will cover his arse.”

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Here I go again with another rhyming poem for fun - please let me know if I am wasting your time and mine - Thanks
Editing stage: 


I needed a good laugh and got it! I like your theme, the title is good, the pattern and rhythm were pretty good and I didn't see much to criticize. All in all, another good poem.Of course, I'll bet that this story has some basis in fact, for I've seen those very same parents and children. ~ Geezer.

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Hello again Gee,
I'm glad it did its job and made a smile - The story is almost to the letter, with a bit of license on my part of course (don't tell my cousin). I shall take a look the premium package as soon as I have my feet a little more under the table, but thanks for the guidance.
Best, Dennis

author comment

You are definitely not wasting our time. This has rhythm, flow and rhyme expertly applied. Not only that but it is a joy to read. I look forward to reading more.
PS: If you have had stick in the past for rhyming, you won't get any here. Carry on carrying on, as folk are want to say.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy

Hello Keith, many thanks for your comments - I'm sadly old school and only write in rhyme, so its a case of testing the water before jumping in. Seems that my style upsets some folk - normally those that can't write rhyming poetry at all.

Speak again I hope, take care.
Best, Dennis

author comment

If I were to try to put a figure on it, I would guess around 95% of my poetry is in rhyme. I don't think anyone should tackle free verse until they first feel confident in rhyme. Unfortunately many see free verse as an alternative to rhyme (possibly because they find rhyming smoothly to be too difficult). Writing poetry should be first and foremost, fun, a personal enjoyment that can be shared.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy

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