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Memories

Submitted by jane210660 on Sun, 2017-04-30 13:58

In pots by my doorway,
the lavender’s floral notes
are written in the spidery hand
of Edwardian petticoats.
Legions of maiden aunts
with talcum powder skin
bestowing spinster kisses
from a wrinkled, whiskered chin.

Will I become a memory
evoked by summer scents
Will I dance in, on the breeze
once my life is spent.

I read it as it sounded in my head
https://soundcloud.com/user-391664655/scent

Last few words: 
I've re written part of this, as I can't quite seem to leave it alone.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

jane210660

Sun, 2017-04-30 14:55

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Agree with you Mark re the summer's scents and lost the 's'
Jx

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lovedly

Mon, 2017-05-01 05:55

lovedly's picture

and
leave behind sweeter memories
if we did love someone
and
please

lovely flowery poetry
nectarily

judyanne

Mon, 2017-05-01 06:42

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'Twas too soft for me to hear on my tablet * sad face*

I really enjoyed reading it however...
Lovely gentle write

Lol made me think that perhaps one wouldn't want to smell your rotting corpse dancing on the breeze.... sorry, bit cheeky :)
Of course I did get the entendre regarding the perfume of the memory of you, so please don't fret...

Nothing to crit - it is a very smooth write

Absolutely love
'the lavender’s floral notes
are written in the spidery hand
of Edwardian petticoats.'

Love judy
xxx
.

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

lovedly

Mon, 2017-05-01 06:43

lovedly's picture

entendre
added to my dictionary
under compilation
ma'am
do shed your anger meditation may help
as it has me no waffle nor piffle
lonely sailor -poet me
endeavouring to be
happeeeey

jane210660

Mon, 2017-05-01 11:07

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Thanks to all for stopping by to read and offer your thoughts.
I kept coming back to this, because initially, I hadn't quite got all the inferences I wanted in.
I changed the 'remembering the aunties' to a legion of maiden aunts, I wanted a link as to why we had a generation of spinster aunts.
I wanted a little nugget of Edwardian England, carried on the breeze, by something as simple as the scent of lavender. I wanted to link the sense of smell and memory.
The next generation won't remember the things I do, but my generation will become part of their memory.

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