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Magic of the Blues...

Her voice was electric-blue
the stage set for his mind
She saw that he was interested
for he smiled at her in kind

Low-down moan of the saxaphone
throbbing bass of beat
She turned up the temperature
and he basked in the sexy heat

Steamy notes of seduction
played for him to ride
They got on together
took the ferry at high tide

The music was hypnotic
her range was truly deep
He couldn't take his eyes from her
was led to slaughter like a sheep

The words didn't really matter
some unintelligible moans
Like hums and thrums, thudding drums
He felt it in his bones

He found himself a captive
couldn't get away
She bound him to her with siren-song
his soul was captured, had to stay

Drained of will and helpless
she took him for his loot
sucked his wallet dry
before giving him the boot

And he still loves her though
she uses blues and song
to capture other souls like his
and he wishes he was strong...

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

When it comes to love and romance, music has the ability of connecting people. I can truly say, music had been her art of seduction. So when any body falls on her tunes such becomes her prey. When she is satisfied drying men's pocket then she could have her way out.

But I suspect the guy himself must be a randy man.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

I have to say, i agree with most of Onyinechi's comment. I think this is one of your best, but then your last one really knocked me off of my pins, too. they are not in the same vein...it would be like comparing apples and oranges! I tried to pick out lines for my favorites, but I would have to quote back the whole poem to you! I love it when you get playful!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

My muse is certainly in a playful mood! She has whispered such scenes in my ears lately; that I cannot imagine where she goes while I sleep. Next one was a complete surprise to me! I had no idea where she was going with it when we started and bang! She hits me upside the head with something so weird and beautiful, that I had to get up with the dawn to write it down! Can't wait to see what she comes up with next! Thank you for your always gracious comments and support! ~ Geez.
. [The boys aren't up yet, they must have been out partying with the dragons].
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

I'm Back...
rereading an intoxicating write!
in these lines:
Drained of will and helpless
she took him for his loot
sucked his wallet dry
before giving him the boot

I had a (don't get too close friend) who treated men like "marks" for the using and fleecing all she could get from them. then one day it happened to her, just deserts, I would say. I never let her get too close for fear of being treated the same way.

*hugs, (the) Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

despite all advice, dallied with the same type of woman; after she had fleeced him for the last time, he decided that enough for her, was too much for him. The last time she showed up on his doorstep, he told her "NO!" and despite pleading and many theatrics, he stuck to it! I am so proud of him! Yes, karma eventually catches up with them. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

I WAS GEE about knock it off
then suddenly found today
you bluish sexy
so I stuck on to the harmonics

recalled dozens of guys fall in to passion
removed all you know what
out of follys passion
then slammed in nude
as a naked legend

I could only laugh
as that was the ultimatum
bluish blood
nothing left red about it
lol
thanks Gee play the saxophone safely

for the read and comments, always glad to hear from you. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

SABBATICAL this whole week
no lapping
lol

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