Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
M like an M
M is like an M. She fall, She stands, She fights.
M is like an apple, sour and sweet.
M is the person of taste, and good fashion.
M is like an M.
Jacob is like a whirlpool, always dark. And twisted.
Her parents are divided.
She hates him.
He loves him.
He thinks, that Jacob will love M just like He should.
She thinks, that She is too good, for his twisted mood.
While M is quiet.
Jacob is on the stage.
Fans around him everywhere.
Jacob is quiet.
He stands in front of the stage, He kneels down. He prays.
His lips touch the ground of the stage .
She smiles, and.
Everything is ok.
He is one again in love with her.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2024-01-12 00:30
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Thu, 2024-01-11 20:16
I would say...
that you are right, it is a little rough.
I'm thinking that you need to eliminate that first line and combine what is left of the two sections.
Maybe something like:
M is like an apple, sour and sweet
Jacob is like a whirlpool, always dark and twisted
M is a person of taste and refinement
Then you seem like you have it down, until I get to:
He stands in front of the stage, he kneels down, he prays.
I think that it might be smoothed out by condensing again.
He kneels on the front of the stage... he prays.
His lips touch the stage
She smiles and
Everything is ok.
Once again, he loves her.
As always, you can use, twist or lose my advice and comments. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.