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Look at me! ...

I'll be back to see you
I'll be back if I can
I"ll be back to see you
You know that's how I am

I'll want to let you know...
There is nothing to fear
And... I love you so
I will always be near

I haven't gone away from you
Look around, remember and see
See it now... I'm here with you
The world was a wonder to me

I wanted to see the best in man
I was cynical... I ever would
I laughed, I cried at stupid things
No one let me love... like you could

So don't grieve, and cry
Don't let life pass you by
Live each day as it comes
Life has it's sheen
It's as it's always been

Dance to the pounding of the drums

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I dreamt that I was on the "other" side, and was trying to communicate with my wife and friends.
Editing stage: 


so many poems of the one left behind, to see one about the leaver is refreshing. The last full stanza and final line were terrific..................scribbler

I tried to show that those who leave this life, must surely feel the sadness that we have at OUR loss. We say that "they have gone to a better place." But we are not comforted. If love is such that we are convinced that it never dies, let us be also convinced that it survives on the other side too. ~ Gee

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

we forget, that the ones we love, love us right back. When we are deprived of that person's presence in our reality, then we feel alone. I don't think that is the case. If you believe that there is after-life, then you must believe that those people are as aggrieved as we are that they can no longer be with us. ~ Love ya right back, ~ Gee

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

You conveyed the distance so well, that before I read it was a dream of departure, i knew that the message was from a far.
truly enjoy this dark write from you.
thanks for sharing what we all sometimes dream!
Always Eddie


of it as being dark, just a message to let people know, that we can always bring back those who have crossed anytime that we remember the things that they loved, and the things that we shared with them.
It was a message that I felt was worth sharing, and from the responses, I guess I was right. Thanks for the read and comment, ~ Gee

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment
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