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Legal Addiction

How can I describe this?!

Blood is no more running
in my venae ,
but ink

If water ceased flowing
I won't panic
I have the words
to drink

The crumbs of metaphor
and imagery
satisfy
my hunger

After today I won't rage
the iambic feet
calm my anger.

If no air existed,
I won't care,
I shall inhale
my rhymes.

If all deserted me
it's still o.k.
poetry's all
I need to fill
my times

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

good piece of writing! Witty and clever.

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

Appreciate the kind visit. I thought this is how we all here feel anyway.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Reading this I could sense poetry flowing through your veins..need i say more?

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I'm happy you could feel it.
Enough said :)
Thank you!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

I enjoyed this one and had to look one word up to see what it was lol, I am so glad that English is my first and only language, if I had to have another I would become unhinged lol,
I have left the rewrite a bit late for today but will try a little tomorrow.
How do you think Open is can it be two syllables O-Pen ??
Have a great evening well its morning now so just take care of you,
Yours Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

the kind visit.
O-pen you say?
I am waiting patiently your Petrarchan sonnet.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

As I am again out of time to write a longish piece.
I will try to write the Petrarchan sonnet this week.
Maybe I will finish something I will try the first type of sonnet ASAP,
Take care and know we think of you, Yours Ian.

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I have a suggestion, a pun, which I don't expect you to take, puns are very naughty

After today I won't rage
the iambic feet
calm my anger.

After today I won't rage
the iambic feet
perambulate my anger.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Appreciate your suggestion.
Two reasons however for not taking the suggestion
First, pun isn't intended and
I'm not naughty and I have no intention to be:) (smiles)
Really value your visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

that i had already commented on this rula
i love it... all up to the last 'to fill my times'
i know you are trying to keep to a rhyme, but I really don't think you need to at the end

just imo, i think the write would be so much more powerful if it finished at 'poetry is all i need'

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

to be quite honest, I like your suggestion and see what you mean. But, I do also like my ending. I thought it tells more than only keeping the rhyme. :)
Thank you dear. I really value your visit highly.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

this lovely piece of addiction.

Nokros. My pleasure.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

When you are so passionately addicted to poetry i don't see anyone ever deserting you. Stay addicted, we shall always keep a watch on you if you ever take a gingerly step..:)

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I really appreciat your words. It's all what I wish.
Thank you. I can have sweet dreams now. :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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