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Late Night Munchies # II... [Random Challege #16]

Hand full of peanuts
ear for the blues
bottle of aged whiskey
a heart full of you

Piano keys tinkling
Strings are humming
I see the blues
Yes, they're coming

Woman always picking
Blame me everything
But she got a sweet voice
Maaaan, she can sing

Fingers tap the ivory
high notes, guitar strum
Picking those notes
against slow beating drums

Hear my strings wail
the song of love wrong
Sax howling midnight
Feelings so strong

Oh God, am I crazy?
I'm happy with you
where there's whiskey,the munchies
and a thing called the blues

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
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Not Explicit Content

Comments

this one better, what about you? ~ Geez.
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author comment

I like this one better than the first! it is amazing! my favorite lines:

Hear my strings wail
the song of love wrong
Sax howling midnight
Feelings so strong

I have no suggestions...you nailed it!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

*
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Only critique I have is ending 2 lines with "blues". Maybe end 2nd with something like old songs?

think on it. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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