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I LIKE AND I DON'T LIKE

Submitted by turbo1904 on Thu, 2022-05-26 03:35

I like a person with a nice smile.
I hate people who are hostile.

I like it when people tell the truth.
I hate it when people are uncouth.

I like people who look out for the underdog.
I hate people with rehearsed dialogue.

I like all the beautiful ladies.
I hate the God Hades.

I like the word from the wise,
I hate dirty little lies.

I like all walks of life.
I hate my ex-wife.

I like all animals.
I hate all scandals.

I like family and friends.
I hate people who pretend.

I like life a little sweeter.
I hate liars and, a cheater.

I like vanilla ice cream.
I hate nightmares in my dream.

I like to dance.
I hate to pay in advance.

Turbo1904 ♥

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Contest: 
I Like I Don't Like
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Thu, 2022-05-26 10:57

Candlewitch's picture
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you have a perfectly reasonable list of likes and dislikes, LOL! the problem is... it reads more like a shopping list than a poem. too many "I's" in it. that is my only suggestion. keep working on it and you will get there.

*hugs, Cat
p.s.

try: (don't much like people who are hostile) as an example.

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Edward nigma

Fri, 2022-05-27 19:28

Edward nigma's picture
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It doesn’t do anything or build up to anything.
Sure you like these things and hate other things but how do they make a point that is clear and sharp.
In order for it to leave an effect the first thing to have is a point to pierce your reader .

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

Obadiah Grey

Sat, 2022-05-28 10:23

Obadiah Grey's picture
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Well,I liked it,
I found it to be fun.

Obi.

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