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HISTORY (September Contest)

How will we be judged
by distant descendants
far in the future?

Perhaps they'll think us unevolved
still fighting wars over religion
although violence leaves questions unsolved
or worst lead us to being cursed
to kill again....and again.

Or perhaps their thoughts of us
will be...kind
(if they think of us at all).
Perhaps they'll overlook the bad
and realize we did the best we could.
Worst? Best?Is our time here simply a test?

Will our grade be pass/fail
or will they grade us at all
as they wonder a dystopian wasteland
we bestowed on them?

Or will we be seen
in retrospect
as pioneers

In space, in time, in philosophy
who showed them all is possible
in a paradise on earth
and other places, other spaces.

As imperfect as we are
I worry.
Will they understand us?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I can't believe I have the balls to submit this in a Free verse contest lol
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


your free-form poem, but I don't see a poetic device in use here. Maybe look at the link given to see how you can incorporate one? ~ Geez.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

So the examples of alliteration and internal rhyme didn't come across?

author comment

Thought they came across just fine, perhaps sparse, perhaps a tad remote, but all the better for that.

All in all,,,,, I liked it, cheers.


Perhaps I need to edit to clarify the devices

author comment

I guess my focus was too narrow. LoL I get it now, but still as Obi says; a little vague. ~ Geez.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

The sledge hammer being vague lol

author comment

how badly I missed on this one. Must be having flashbacks or something! A thousand apologies. I'll take my beating with a vague sledge-hammer and hope that I am forgiven for my inexcusable crap..~ Geez.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

means a lot to me. And I already see some places I can improve this. No need apologize

author comment

Since it's FREE STYLE
YOUR Title should
not ought to be
now rescribble it

chicken scratchings and you will see my affinity for single word titles. but your suggested title is a good one and should I decide to change titles it will be kept in memory.

author comment

This is my kind of poetry and you know it. I adored it. I didn't read anyone above me so as not to be swayed. I hadn't read the parameters for the contest yet but I will in the morning it's 4.44am I always write at this time of day as you know.

I think it's a brilliant poem.

Much love and hugs Sis x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Sometimes i attempt free verse just to see if I can lol. Thanks for your kind words and stay safe down yonder

author comment
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