Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Hidden

"Look beyond what you see."
~ Rafiki, The Lion King

The cat sits by
the screen door

drawn to the music
warbling from the trees -

her eyes move from
one song to another

searching for the
invisible fascination,

knowing that somewhere
inside the sheltering leaves

a hidden curiosity awaits.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses imagery and metaphor to convey a sense of curiosity and exploration. The reference to the cat and its actions serves as a metaphor for the human condition, implying our innate desire to explore and understand the unknown. The choice of words, such as "warbling", "invisible fascination", and "hidden curiosity", adds to the overall sense of mystery and intrigue.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or rhyme scheme to enhance its musicality and flow. The current free verse format may be intentional, but a more structured approach could help to further engage the reader.

The opening quote from The Lion King sets a tone of wisdom and exploration, but it's not explicitly tied back into the rest of the poem. Expanding on this connection could provide a deeper layer of meaning.

Lastly, the poem could potentially delve deeper into the cat's emotions or thoughts to create a stronger emotional connection with the reader. As it stands, the poem largely focuses on the cat's actions and the external environment, which may limit the reader's ability to fully empathize with the cat's curiosity.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I often watch my own cats as they observe from their various spots the goings on outdoors. Their body language can be so expressive when something catches their eye. Good use of imagery here. I could see the cat watching and wondering.

~RoseBlack~

Much to observe... and learn from animals.
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

a few cats, it's like RoseBlack says, they are graceful beyond belief and watch the world as though it all of it were meant just for them. I saw the little wiggles and the twitches of tail as they searched the trees. Love this. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I've found that dogs are fairly straight-forward beings, but cats are pretty complex. Fun to watch and imagine what they're thinking.
Thank you for reading this little ditty!
L

author comment

as usual. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I love the imagery. My daughter puts up some bird feeders in the front yard in the winter time, so her cat can sit on the windowsill and watch the birds. Cats can be amazing creatures

Yes, cats can be very amazing creatures - as are most creatures! (But much more complicated to understand...) I tend to understand dogs a bit better.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Lavender

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.