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Hedgehogs
The hedgehogs curled up by your shed
are scared. In fact, they live in dread
of dogs and drains and deep, dank ditches,
which plague these sorry sons of bitches!
Their days on earth are numbered too,
if climate change and all that’s true.
It could decline their population
and wipe these creatures from our nation.
These black-eyed fellows’ fiercest foe?
The farmer! And it’s touch and go
if they’ll survive his fascist farming.
Their habitat he’s always harming.
The badger preys on hedgehogs too
and chemicals - that toxic brew.
Cruel cars, (cold Cadillacs for killing)
the hedgehogs’ blood they’re always spilling.
The hedgehogs, curled up in a ball,
are spiky, sweet, and very small.
They need our help; don’t say I'm raving,
like sinful souls, they’re well worth saving!
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
a nature poem
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2023-03-14 06:31
I never trust a person that is unkind to animals
Great poem. You’re usually good with rhyme and timing and this is on track too. Poor little guys. They need to deal with Badgers as that’s circle of life type stuff but the cars and chemicals and farming are certainly man made calamities fir these little fur balls. Of course, humans need to eat too but we sure could be a bit less obtrusive about it.
Tim
Blue-eyed Bolla
Tue, 2023-03-14 11:49
hedgehogs
Many thanks Tim.
KBloor
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2023-03-14 10:32
I agree...
Never trust a person that is cruel to animals. Actually, hedgehogs are very beneficial to farmers. They eat many insect larvae
and keep the insect population from exploding. They are good at their jobs and what little of the crop they may eat, surely is offset by the good they do! Your language use is good, and the rhyme and pacing equally so.
I like the theme, it could be used as is, by a schoolbook to educate young children.
The beginning describes where you might find them, and the ending exhorts farmers
to take pity and not kill them. Nice stuff! ~ Geezer.
.
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Blue-eyed Bolla
Tue, 2023-03-14 11:48
hedgehogs
Thanks, Geezer. Yeah, a friend of mine, who works to help these little fellows, asked me to pen a poem for her charity. Glad you liked. Once more, many thanks for you taking the time to read my poor little rhymes.
KBloor
author commentLavender
Tue, 2023-03-14 11:49
Hedgehogs
What a great poem. You've said it all so well.
L
Blue-eyed Bolla
Tue, 2023-03-14 13:00
hedgehogs
Many thanks, L
KBloor
author commentBlue-eyed Bolla
Tue, 2023-03-14 13:05
hedgehogs
Thank you, Ekaterina. If I showed schoolkids, I think I would change line 4 stanza one. ('sorry sons of bitches') I don't even know how it sneaked into my poem! I'm from the UK and the saying, "sons of bitches" is an American saying. Again, thank you for your feedback.
KBloor
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