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goddess from the silent stars

When she returned to me that day
and saw I’d ceased to hope or pray,
she tore the thorn crown from my brow
and swore to me this sacred vow:

“My love for you has never ceased
and even when I seemed deceased
to you – while all your hair turned grey;
I never really went away.

And now I’ve knocked upon your door
your aching heart will ache no more.
For I will heal the hurt and pain
and never make you grieve again”

And so, my dream, that long lay dead,
like Christ, when all his blood was bled,
was raised to life before my face;
gave back – not one – but every trace

of girl, who’d crucified my soul
when love, from me, she once had stole.
And warm with life, with blood and bone,
not ghost, unreal, or copied clone

she stood, and shared her own cruel scars,
my goddess from the silent stars.
And so I’d heal and understand
she touched me with her nail-torn hands,

bestowing beauty – newly bled
and in that dawn of rusty red
we merged – two lovers into one,
and my grey grief I’d lived upon

she kissed away, and as sunrise
drew back the veil of her disguise,
the sorrow of our wasted years
seemed trifling as our teenage tears.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
this was a poem about my first love, Lorraine. She came back to me after a lifetime apart.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I believe you’ve written about this before too. This is such a cool story and I’m really happy for both of you.

of girl, who’d crucified my soul
when love, from me, she once had stole.
And warm with life, with blood and bone,
not ghost, unreal, or copied clone

Those line are the hinge and then I just fell into the rest of the poem. Really great job with this one. I’m an extremely impressed with the precision.

Tim

Thanks, Tim. This poem belongs to a group of poems that I penned shortly after I was reunited with my first love. Again, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poor little rhymes.

KBloor

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